Author: Maggie Stiefvater Year: 2009 Genre: Paranormal romance/fantasy Reading Level: Young Adult Series: First in the Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy
Plot
Summary: Grace has watched the wolves in the Boundary Wood for years, always paying particular attention to one with striking yellow eyes. It's not until she learns the wolf is really a yellow-eyed dreamy teenage boy that everything changes. Grace has to figure out how to keep him, even as he's torn between the human and wolf worlds, and the key might lie in her own past.
Award/s: Georgia Peach Book Award (2011), An ALA/YALSA Quick Pick for Reluctant Young Adult Readers (2010), Pennsylvania Young Readers' Choice Award Nominee (2011), ALA Teens' Top Ten (2010), Children's Choice Book Award Nominee for Teen Choice Book of the Year (2010)
Florida Teens Read Nominee (2010), Teen Read Award Nominee for Best Read (2010), Voya Perfect Ten (2009), The Inky Awards for Silver Inky (2010), Abraham Lincoln Award Nominee (2012) Red Flags: Some violence, a few PG-13 swears and (offscreen) teenage canoodling My
Rating: B+ I liked this book, for the most part. The middle section suffered from a case of Twilight-itis ("OMG, this boy is beautiful and our luv is epic and true but he is chaste and will not touch me but...maybe he'll change his mind") and dragged a bit after a while. But it picked up toward the end and I might have said "eeee" when I finished it. I like the writing overall, though sometimes it was a bit overwritten and there wasn't much of a difference in the two narrator's voices. Grace was a little bland--I think this is a case of side characters being more interesting than the main ones. I do give it credit for not having a generic photo cover. Thank you, cover making people at Scholastic. A few favorite goofy sentences: "With particular clarity, I remembered that conversation clearly..." (o rly?) "His skin bulged and shimmered for a moment before each radical change, like a placenta covering a terrifying, feral infant." (I know where placentas are now, and they are over yonder) "Finally I took the guitar...and smashed it into pieces... When Dad came down from his room, he found me sitting in the middle of a sea of splintered wood and snapped strings, like a boat carrying music had crashed on a rocky shore." (Say what?)
I bet you're all sick of the New Moon chatter. I guess I am a bit, but I think I'm more tired of swine flu and health care talk. But that's just me, and I am pretty much always game for pop culture talk that doesn't involve Lindsay Lohan. Just kidding, I can talk about Lohan whenever the topic comes up. She's just a basket case, am I right?
Anyway Saturday morning Marcue and I had a partial D'CALC reunion when we met to see New Moon. I'm having a little bit of trouble formulating a really solid opinion on it, and I think it's because there were no surprises with this movie. It was exactly like the book, and yes, so was Twilight but in all honesty, I think Twilight did it with more style and that made it more fun to watch. Twilight had a look and it had a sense of humor, but New Moon may as well have been made by brownies. That said, I've always had a big soft spot for the book because it has so much Jacob. The same goes for the movie, and the movie just made it even more clear why I prefer him as a character to Edward. He's likable, he's normal, he's happy and he has interests besides Bella--oh, the novelty. Plus, he doesn't sparkle and I've always been a sucker for long haired Native American boys. Of course, I've always liked werewolves better than vampires anyway. Remember that early X-Files episode about werewolves and Native Americans called "Shapes"? It's so great and spooky, and even has BSG's Dr. Cottle. Anyway.
New Moon has an unfortunate story structure (similar to Breaking Dawn) where the supposed climax is mostly talk. In the movie, the plot goes something like beginning, middle, ending, middle, a little more ending and then a bit more middle at the very end. I don't think too highly of Stephenie Meyer's plotting skills, and honestly, if I didn't like Jacob, I think I would have been bored in this movie. Even so, I was a little bored.
Okay, instead of rambling further, I will break up the rest of my opinion into a series of memos to various characters/actors:
Edward: Quit emoing all over the place. You are such a drag. Also, why are you dressing like an old man? Please stop wearing lipstick. Painted on abs are not as good as real ones.
Alice: Your hair looks like a mushroom.
Charlie: You are much improved over book Charlie because you have some personality. I'm a bit fond of you.
Aro/Michael Sheen: You're still the best part of Underworld, and I almost look forward to you talking for the last hour of the Breaking Dawn movie. Almost.
Other Volturi head guys: Not-Anthony, you look like a couch potato. And there's a problem with your face. Anthony: What are you doing in this movie?
Jane and Felix: You bore me.
Wolf pack boys: Some of you are muffin topping out of your modest, knee-length shorts. I'm pretty sure you borrowed RPattz's ab paint.
Bella: Happy, as always, to not be in your head.
And just to get you all excited about Eclipse, here's a fanmade poster. It really captured the essence of the b--oh wait. What the heck is this?
EDIT: HOW did I not mention Jasper's hair?? It was SO bad. SO SO SO bad. Pictures can't capture it, it was just that bad.
Okay okay okay, I know my last post was Twilight-related, and I promise this won't last forever. It will, however, last until this weekend when I plan to give you all my thoughts on New Moon. Anyway, look at these Barbies:
I think they are awful. Especially Jacob's cut offs and water shoes. And Edward's sparkling plastic skin. BUT it is a rather dear wish of mine to do the following: Buy two tickets to New Moon at midnight. Buy all three of these dolls. Sit them in the chair beside me, complete with Barbie-sized popcorn and sodas--maybe even tiny movie tickets.
I don't know why this particular idea thrills me. Do I really want to be considered absurd by fellow movie goers? Then again, I'm sure some fans would love it and want to take pictures. Maybe I've just never outgrown the appeal of Barbie-sized items (okay, so maybe I still fawn over those miniature sleeping bags and tents at stores). Anyway, that's beside the point. And the point is that...I think doing this would be so very very funny. But since I already have my (Saturday) ticket and I have no Twilight dolls, it will never come to pass. Maybe for Eclipse...?
In a similar vein of things, Stephenie Meyer posted a big q&a and her website, and even though I only skimmed it, I got the feeling that she's a little burned out by the mania over her sparkly brainchild. I can only imagine that seeing things like this or this gets really old.
So, as you probably realized from my piece of genius "Bella Goes Grocery Shopping," I occasionally amuse myself by trying to write like Stephenie Meyer. I guess I just like the feeling that comes from writing overwrought, ridiculous descriptions and the cackling that follows (from me). My most recent efforts were for a writing contest sponsored by BYU's Daily Universe. The idea was to write, in 100 words or less, something to embody her style (described by them as "overearnest") although the entries didn't have to be Twilight related. You could submit three entries, and even though I think this was for BYU students, I entered anyway. No, I didn't win, but one of my sentences was picked for a "Favorite Sentence." So, here are my entries and you can try to figure out what that sentence was. Then you can check out the article and see if your guess was right (and read the winners).
Before school I spotted Edward's shiny Volvo as it whipped into the driveway. Sometimes that silver car reminded me of him--sleek, pale, fast, a model of aerodynamics. The hard, shiny exterior that was all softness on the inside. As Edward himself stepped out of the car with the lightness of a gazelle I tossed away the inadequate analogy. How could that dull piece of metal and leather compare to this living Adonis in my driveway? Metal was so pedestrian. Leather was just cow hides. Edward was flawless. A perfect sculpture made of some stone too beautiful for this world.*
Jacob. Just the thought of his name sent conflicting emotions running through me like rampant, untamed wildfire. On one hand, Jacob was my best friend. Comforting. Warm as the fading embers of a La Push campfire. He was perfectly selfless, willing to do almost anything I could ever ask. Then there was the other Jacob. That Jacob was strong, with abs like a muffin pan, arms as thick and muscled as a python and pectorals that looked like soft, fluffy pillows. Soft, fluffy pillows made of rocks. Soft, fluffy pillows that felt like iron under my hands, my cheek...**
Alice was the kind of girl that all other girls (except Rosalie, of course) were dying to be. Her heart-shaped face--the color of cold milk--was sweet, naive and, above all else, desperately and enchantingly beautiful. Her petite size only added to the illusion that she was as harmless as an exotic butterfly. But I knew that behind that delicate facade there was the power to truculently destroy any threat.*** I sometimes wondered if her wardrobe of designer peasant tops and couture ruffled skirts was a calculated move to trick any potential enemy into underestimating her.
The prizes for the top three involved tickets to New Moon. That would have been nice since I think the best way to see a Twilight movie involves freeness, but what the heck, I have a ticket anyway (I know, I know). I'll probably be breaking out the "Team Jacob" shirt again, but should I have the wherewithal for a new Twilight shirt, I would most definitely get this one. If you have the wherewithal, I would encourage you to buy one because it is awesome and then I would have cause to shake my fist at you and your wherewithal. *This first entry was adapted from another little short story I wrote a month ago or so. You know that Edward vs. a Velociraptor poll that is still on the sidebar? Yeah, that's what it's about.
**Credit goes to Drew for the phrase "soft, fluffy pillows."
***Drew challenged me to use the word "truculent." He just loves those "Word of the Day" e-mails.
Sometimes I run across a quiz and I just can't resist finding out my results. And sometimes, the more random the quiz the more intrigued I am. How can one resist taking such a wholly irrelevant quiz like "How Sexy is Your Aura?" or "What Random Object Are You?"
I have a special place in my cold* heart for silly Twilight quizzes. I just can't resist finding out what I smell like to such a dreamboat as Edward Cullen.
I wasn't going to blog about this, but now that I'm sitting here with little to do with even less confidence in myself to do my work well, I think I will.
I saw Twilight last night at midnight. I wasn't planning to, but having two little roommates that hadn't experienced a midnight show gave me a reason. I'm all about sacrificing so others can have good experiences in life, you know? Anyway, that part of the adventure was fun. We all made shirts and got there an hour and a half early, just in time to nab the last three seats at the rail. There were about four guys in the theater and there were lots of Twilight shirts. I'm sure one girl made her face vampire pale (aka "pale white"). There were fewer tweens than I expected--most of the crowd was 18 and up. So I despaired a little less for the younger generation. The lowest point of the night was trying to get out of the parking lot via the one little exit. Luckily Erasure was handy.
As for the movie itself, well, I was overall pleasantly surprised. It wasn't a work of art, but as far as book adaptations go it succeeded for two reasons. First, it was faithful to the book where it counted. The story moved along in the same fashion, the characters were generally true to their paper and ink twins. The second reason is that the movie either improved on some things or at least avoided some pitfalls of the book. Part of that is because Bella isn't narrating the whole time so you get less "Edward's face was like a white sculpture, except the sculpture was so beautiful no human could ever have made it." Movies also make it easier to summarize things and so a lot of things were abbreviated and summarized (like the meadow and pretty much every Bella and Edward conversation). The movie also made their attraction to each other a little more normal and less "You're so hot and mysterious" and "I'm addicted to your smell."
As for the actors, I have no real complaints. I actually thought Kristen Stewart was a good match for Bella, if a little lifeless (which...again, good match for Bella). RPattz was fine. His hair looked good for the most part. I still struggle with Peter Facinelli aka Carlisle and it seemed like he was using a weird accent. I liked Charlie. But I always like Charlie. He's almost my favorite character.
Oh, and Jacob. His hair in his first scene was so so bad. I literally shrunk into an awkward fetal position with embarassment. Luckily he wore a hat in all his scenes until his last one at the prom and, thank goodness, his hair looked like it might have really been attached to his head. Besides that, I liked him. I think he'll grow on me the more I see it, and my palms are sweaty with New Moon anticipation.* He still doesn't match Jacob in my head but he has a nice smile and I enjoy that.
After all that lukewarm praise I now have to say there were lots of silly things, some I expected and some unexpected gems as well. I laughed at a number of inappropriate moments, and other times I just stifled myself with my scarf. Sparkly Edward? No thanks. The Cullens hunting in their 1920's Sunday best? Priceless. James wearing a zipped up leather jacket with no shirt underneath? Strangely disturbing. Stephenie Meyer's cameo? Painfully awkward. Eric's hair? Distractingly bad.
Overall I'd give it a solid B. I have a feeling I'm going to be reading New Moon soon and Jacob will break my brain all over again.
*This is not true. Except that I'm anticipating it. Without sweaty palms.
Before you read this, the final chapter, I just would like to say that it is supposed to be silly and poke fun at Stephenie Meyer. I didn't write it because of my all-consuming love for Twilight or whatever. I was just bored and feeling clever. Just to clarify.
Chapter Three: INTENSE
"Thanks, Jacob!" I said brightly, setting the last bag on the seat with relief. The plastic straps of the bag had been rubbing into my hand and left angry red marks. It was as though even the bag was mocking my weak human state.
Jacob didn't notice how the thought panged me, reminding me of Edward and the inequality of both our love and our species. Instead he just looked at me with his black eyes, a smile still on his face. He could smile; he wasn't separated from a vital piece of himself, waiting for that piece to finish eating a bison.
I stood with Jacob at the end of the truck as he was turning to go. There was a sudden roaring sound as an old truck sped around the corner near us. It was heading straight for one of the large, perpetual puddles of rainwater in the parking lot.
Without warning I was swept up, off my feet and into the air. I shut my eyes in fright automatically, but I knew, without opening them, who had picked me up. I could feel his hard, cold arms holding me, and when I opened my eyes I saw his beautiful stony face. His burning, liquid-gold eyes stared into mine for only a moment before he set me down on my feet gently and he turned to Jacob.
"What were you thinking, dog?" he said angrily.
"I was going to save her," Jacob replied, looking defensive. "You just beat me to the punch is all, leech."
"Save me?" I asked. I'd been so distracted by Edward's appearance it took a moment for me to realize what was happening. "What are you talking about, Edward?"
"Didn't you see that truck?" he asked, swiveling to face me. He looked me over for a minute, as if checking for injuries. "The puddles...you would have been drenched. You could have caught a chill, developed pneumonia and died, Bella. Do you understand me? Died." He smoothed my hair with one hand. "You're fragile, my love."
"Oh come on!" Jacob protested. "I was going to block the water. She would have been fine. I had it all under control, bloodsucker."
"Don't argue with me about this, mutt!" Edward turned back to Jacob, his soothing tone gone. "You don't appreciate how delicate humans are, how delicate Bella is. I never should have left her.... This is the last time you'll put her at risk, hound."
Jacob scoffed. "I'm the one who was here to help her with the groceries. And I'll be here to help her next week too, mosquito." He gave me a last look and smile and turned away, hot dogs in hand.
As soon as Jacob had pulled out of the parking lot, Edward wrapped me in a tight hug, saying in a low voice, "What was I thinking? How could I leave you so defenseless?"
I was filled with a sudden irritation. I wasn't so fragile. I never caught colds. If getting wet made me sick, I would have colds every other day in Forks. Why did he think I was so defenseless? "Edward," I said crossly, "it's just water. You didn't have to come back and save me from splashing water."
"Poor Bella," he said, giving me a sad smile. "You just don't appreciate how fragile the human body is. One day, you'll understand."
With those words, my anger melted away like a fine mist of steam coming off asphalt streets. I sighed contentedly and thought of how soon I would be asleep and he would be there, watching me sleep.
Looking into his honey-colored eyes, I said, "Let's go home."
Fifteen minutes later I was pushing the shiny metal cart down the bread aisle. Wheat, whole wheat, butter-top, potato...what did it matter? Wasn't all bread really the same? I sighed heavily and thought of Edward as I picked up a loaf of honey wheat. Honey. The color of his eyes. I stared at that loaf of bread for a long moment, trying to see his face in the cheap plastic bag. If I squinted and turned my head just right I could almost imagine his face. I sighed heavily and tossed the bread into the basket. I continued down the aisle in search of oatmeal, and glanced up at the florescent lights, thinking of how superhumanly attractive Edward always looked beneath them.
I stood in front of all the oatmeal varieties. Did Charlie like apple cinnamon or was it peaches and cream? It was hard to remember facts not related to Edward. In the end I picked bananas and cream. Surely Charlie liked bananas since he had painted my room yellow all those years ago.
The work of grocery shopping alone was torture. Finally, next to the spaghetti-o's I almost fell to my knees and sobbed as my loneliness threatened to engulf me in sorrow. I gripped the red plastic handlebar of the cart, willing myself to stay conscious. Soon I would be with Edward again, soon I would bask in his glorious beauty and stroke his perfect hair--
Suddenly I heard a voice behind me say my name. It wasn't the voice I longed to hear but I looked up anyway. "Are you okay?" I looked up to see Jacob--tall, strong, masculine Jacob with his shiny black hair and russet skin.
Everything fell apart when I saw him, and I nearly threw myself at him in relief. "Jake!" I whispered hoarsely as I clung to him. "I can't believe you're here, just when I needed someone!"
"Woah, Bells," he said, sounding surprised. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, Jacob," I sniffed. "I was shopping and I...I just...I couldn't deal with it. Edward is--is--" I caught Jacob's hopeful expression and said, "He's not here!"
"Jerk," he said scathingly. "He should know better than to leave you on your own. I'm glad I needed some more hot dogs."
I hugged him tightly, appreciating his muscular shoulders as I did so--in a purely friend kind of way, of course, since Jacob and I would never be more than that. Still, I told myself, I would be a poor friend indeed if I couldn't appreciate his good build.
I took several deep breaths and tried to collect myself. "Will you help me finish the shopping, Jake?" I asked tentatively. "I just...I don't think I could do it alone. Not tonight."
"Sure, sure," he said, throwing a pack of hot dogs into the basket. Suddenly everything was all right. I had Jacob--my Jacob--to help me through the rest of the grocery shopping. We spent the next hour laughing about cow tongues, store-brand cereal and a display of Butterfingers. Before I knew it, the groceries were loaded into the truck.
Last Tuesday I found myself stuck in a crowded computer lab. I felt kind of bad being on Facebook when there were people wandering around looking for open computers. So in an effort to at least look like I was doing something academic, I opened Word and started writing. And what did I write? A Twilight story! I'm posting it in three parts, just because the whole thing would be a big old post. So, for your enjoyment, here is my story, which takes place in a kind of grey area of between New Moon and Eclipse. I guess? I don't know.
Chapter One: VICTUALS
It was a gray, drizzling day in Forks, Washington. Or to put it another way, it was a normal day in Forks, Washington. I automatically pulled the hood on my rain jacket up as I started across the parking lot to the rusted metal monster that was my truck. It was Tuesday, and that meant it was grocery shopping day. For two people, Charlie and I seemed to eat a lot of food--I only had to go grocery shopping every other week when I lived in Phoenix.
As I was putting my hand in my pocket to fish out my car keys I realized Edward had already unlocked the door and was holding it open for me. Was I ever going to get used to his amazing superhuman speed? I spent a moment thinking of how his bronze hair would look so windswept when he moved so quickly. One day, after he made me a vampire, I would be able to see it for myself and I knew that it would be more incredible than anything my weak human imagination could dream of.
"Your door, m'lady," he said chivalrously as he held the door open. There was a faint smile on his perfect marble lips and a light in his topaz--wait, his eyes were coal black today. How did I not notice sooner? Hadn't I spent all of lunch staring into them, losing myself in their depths? I had barely even noticed the taste of my chocolate cherry cheesecake. I remember thinking that I may as well have been eating dirt for how much I noticed.
"Edward!" No matter how many times I said his name, it was still like verbal magic. "Are you coming to the store with me?"
"Sadly no," he said, attempting to pull a face. It didn't work--how could it work on a face with his perfection? "I'm going hunting with Jasper. He wants something exotic today so we're going to find some buffalo in Montana." It was my turn to pull a face. "I'm sorry, my love. But if I don't eat soon, I may eat Charlie. I think we would both regret that later."
"But if it meant you could stay closer to Forks tonight..."
He shoook his head nobly and flashed one of my favorite crooked smiles, showing off his gleaming white teeth. It was amazing how his teeth could look so white, even next to the snowy whiteness of his skin. I could tell he was trying to be more optimistic for my sake as he said, "It's better this way. You take care of Charlie, and I'll be back tonight."
Taking a small section of my boring hair on his stunning hand, he twisted it around his finger lightly. It was a perfect metaphor for our relationship--he, the dazzling, beautiful one with my breakable, boring self wrapped around his little finger. If only I could be a vampire today, then we could both be beautiful and I could rid myself of my weak human body.
My expression must have turned slightly more crestfallen because he gave me another crooked smile and said soothingly, "I'll be back before you can miss me."
We both knew that was false. But he was gone before I could reach out and grab him. How was I going to face the grocery store alone? RiteAid would seem just as boring and drab as me without him walking down the paper goods aisle. Still, Charlie and I had to eat, and even if I didn't care if I ate dirt, Charlie did. So I climbed into my faithful truck and headed for the store.
I'm sorry, I just can't hold my Breaking Dawn thoughts in anymore. So, if you haven't read the book for whatever reason, just go look at one of these websites instead: Kittenwar, Cats in Sinks or Mad Shark.
Some of you are probably still here, hoping to get spoilers. Or, I should say, one of you is. And so at this point I would like to remind you of a certain bargain we made and if you read the spoilers I will have to post about That Thing.
And here is the final deterrent. ZARDOZ!
I know what you're thinking and YES, that is Sean Connery. Sometimes I get the title mixed up with Xanadu, but I'm pretty sure there's no roller skating in Zardoz. There is, however, a pair of thigh-high black boots and what can only be called red underwear. I decided to spare you all from that.
And now, let us discuss Breaking Dawn.
Breaking Dawn Revelation #1: Vampires really like sex. Obviously there has been a lot of talk about the *ahem* content (Esme's isle, anyone?). I expected a honeymoon scene, and until the pillow biting, I think it was handled pretty well. The bits that came later during their vampire honeymoon, if you will, were overkill for me. I wouldn't have thought twice about it if Stephenie Meyer weren't LDS and vocal about it, though. The fact that she is, apparently, an active member whose religion comes up in interviews and on her website should have made her think twice. I know Bella and Edward aren't Mormon, but that doesn't mean Meyer needs to make us aware of just how much sex they are having.
As for younger girls reading it, technically Twilight is a young adult book and they shouldn't be reading them anyway. So on the one hand, I don't think authors should feel a need to make their books suitable for all ages. But on the other hand, when you know that lot of young girls are reading them, it wouldn't hurt to keep it in mind. And since we didn't need or want to know about Emmett and Rosalie breaking houses down with their passion anyway, sex didn't need to come up at all after the honeymoon. Final note: Parents! Read some book reviews and give your kids Series of Unfortunate Events. They are better and more age-appropriate.
Breaking Dawn Revelation #2: Dead people can have babies.
Bella and Edward have a honeymoon baby. I'll admit that this twist kept me up reading until 5 AM so it was intriguing to me. But that was partly because I thought it was some kind of horrible vampire spawn that would somehow turn into the book's villain (too much X-Files?). The truth was so much more ordinary. It's a girl! And she's perfect! Just enough vampire to keep her young and beautiful, just enough human to give her a rosy complexion! AND she has magical powers. Of course, who wants to read a book where the main characters have to deal with a teething child that throws tantrums and watches Teletubbies?
Did I mention her name is Renesmee? Renesmee. Renee+Esme. How about...Reme? Esne? Jill? Also I would to add that Meyer's three boys have the same names as three brothers that lived next door to us in California. Just saying.
Breaking Dawn Revelation #3: Nobody cares about Bella and Edward
Bella and Edward get married in the first few chapters and POOF! all the dramatic teen relationship angst that kept me glued to Twilight is gone. The love triangle with Jacob is a moot point, and all the fun of Bella and Edward being together is gone. They're like an old married couple. If this were a TV show, I would the wedding the moment BDjumped the shark. Since it's a book, I will say that is when it bit the pillow.
And while we're here, was it just me or was Edward hardly even in this book? It seemed like he did a lot of standing around looking concerned.
Breaking Dawn Revelation #3: There is such a thing as "Too Perfect"
OK, now we're getting to my real problem with the book: lack of conflict. As in, there was none. Meyer has said she likes happy endings, but there is a big difference between a happy ending and a satisfying ending. Sure, it all turned out great, but there was no cost, no sacrifice and not even much work. Everything happened so easily! Bella didn't have to give up anything to get everything she wanted, and neither did anyone else. If anything, they gave up nothing and got even more in return.
All of the conflicts that had been built up in the first three books--the love triangle, the wedding issue, the Bella-being-a-vampire issue, the Volturi, the soul issue--were not even issues at all. Or if they came up at all, they were fixed without a problem. Everything happened exactly like you'd think, except with no trials on the way.
And you know what happens when there's no conflict? Things get really boring. Kind of like the second half of this book. This book should have been all about tying up threads and weaving all the stories together to make a good ending to the story. Instead BD didn't address previous storylines and brought in completely new ones without resolving them either. Examples: vampires can have babies? Jasper knows a seedy lawyer in Seattle? The werewolves are shapeshifters? Leah is not such a pill after all? Jazz?
Breaking Dawn Revelation #5: I really kind of hated this book
I don't hate books or things in general very often. I can't even think of anything to give examples. Anyway, the more I think about BD, the more I despise it. I was going to read The Host next but I can't even look at it. Thinking about reading the other books in the series repulses me. It wasn't even enjoyably bad! It was just bad! It wasn't consistent or cohesive. It wasn't an ending. Eclipse had a better ending. Did I mention that there's not really a plot? There's just stuff that happens, and a long conversation at the end where something exciting should be.
It's about at this point where I start banging my head on the table and throwing dirty looks at my copy of the book.
I guess I shouldn't get so worked up. After all, it's just a book. And it's just a series that I only liked halfheartedly besides Jacob! in the first place. Ohhhhh I haven't even started on the imprinting! Gahhhhhhh, imprinting! Seriously, the only way I can describe my feelings on imprinting is by angry exclamations. I don't understand it, I don't see why it was necessary at all, I think it's stupid, and it makes me angry. And it makes me so angry that it happened to Jacob. I knew it would happen, and I knew it would upset me and by golly, it did. Wouldn't it have been so much more satisfying if Jacob had had to work to overcome his feelings? Run off into the wilderness and dealt with it instead of seeing a baby and having all his Bella love disappear? It's not like he had anything to do the rest of the book anyway.
I guess you could say that if Jacob broke my brain, Breaking Dawn healed it. Now give me Harry Potter.
Author: Maggie Stiefvater
