So, as you probably realized from my piece of genius "Bella Goes Grocery Shopping," I occasionally amuse myself by trying to write like Stephenie Meyer. I guess I just like the feeling that comes from writing overwrought, ridiculous descriptions and the cackling that follows (from me). My most recent efforts were for a writing contest sponsored by BYU's Daily Universe. The idea was to write, in 100 words or less, something to embody her style (described by them as "overearnest") although the entries didn't have to be Twilight related. You could submit three entries, and even though I think this was for BYU students, I entered anyway. No, I didn't win, but one of my sentences was picked for a "Favorite Sentence." So, here are my entries and you can try to figure out what that sentence was. Then you can check out the article and see if your guess was right (and read the winners).
Before school I spotted Edward's shiny Volvo as it whipped into the driveway. Sometimes that silver car reminded me of him--sleek, pale, fast, a model of aerodynamics. The hard, shiny exterior that was all softness on the inside. As Edward himself stepped out of the car with the lightness of a gazelle I tossed away the inadequate analogy. How could that dull piece of metal and leather compare to this living Adonis in my driveway? Metal was so pedestrian. Leather was just cow hides. Edward was flawless. A perfect sculpture made of some stone too beautiful for this world.*
Jacob. Just the thought of his name sent conflicting emotions running through me like rampant, untamed wildfire. On one hand, Jacob was my best friend. Comforting. Warm as the fading embers of a La Push campfire. He was perfectly selfless, willing to do almost anything I could ever ask. Then there was the other Jacob. That Jacob was strong, with abs like a muffin pan, arms as thick and muscled as a python and pectorals that looked like soft, fluffy pillows. Soft, fluffy pillows made of rocks. Soft, fluffy pillows that felt like iron under my hands, my cheek...**
Alice was the kind of girl that all other girls (except Rosalie, of course) were dying to be. Her heart-shaped face--the color of cold milk--was sweet, naive and, above all else, desperately and enchantingly beautiful. Her petite size only added to the illusion that she was as harmless as an exotic butterfly. But I knew that behind that delicate facade there was the power to truculently destroy any threat.*** I sometimes wondered if her wardrobe of designer peasant tops and couture ruffled skirts was a calculated move to trick any potential enemy into underestimating her.
The prizes for the top three involved tickets to New Moon. That would have been nice since I think the best way to see a Twilight movie involves freeness, but what the heck, I have a ticket anyway (I know, I know). I'll probably be breaking out the "Team Jacob" shirt again, but should I have the wherewithal for a new Twilight shirt, I would most definitely get this one. If you have the wherewithal, I would encourage you to buy one because it is awesome and then I would have cause to shake my fist at you and your wherewithal. *This first entry was adapted from another little short story I wrote a month ago or so. You know that Edward vs. a Velociraptor poll that is still on the sidebar? Yeah, that's what it's about.
**Credit goes to Drew for the phrase "soft, fluffy pillows."
***Drew challenged me to use the word "truculent." He just loves those "Word of the Day" e-mails.
I really like Halloween. There are a lot of good elements--fall, candies, costumes, pumpkins, spooky things. Also, Nightmare Before Christmas. But the costumes are surely my favorite part. I think I have dressed up pretty much every Halloween except for one year about 6-7 years ago when it was on a Sunday and there was no where to go and nothing to do. Anywhey, for the last long while I have been Hermione every year*, and you can probably guess that D-Rew has been Harry Potter for lo, these many years. So this year, after considering Jim and Pam for a while, we decided to join our magical forces for the first time. We were extremely accurate besides blatantly ignoring canon pairings, but Ginny was not an option. No.
We went to the local Trunk or Treat and we had both the best trunk and the best costumes. And then we ate pasta and Sticky Fingers at Wingers. Then we went home and watched Edward Scissorhands. Huzzah! (If you want a more detailed look at our Halloween festivities you can check out the Mister's blog. When he posts about it. Which he will because I'm watching him type it right now. I'm going to beat him to the punch though, haha.)
Anyway, on a final note, I realized that day that instead of our old English standbys, it would have been seriously awesome if we had been these guys instead:
Penny and Captain Hammer! It would have been awesome and hilarious and moderately obscure. If you don't know what I'm talking about, kindly investigate the world of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Now we have a whole year to get ready, and look out world, next Halloween we're going to be Penny and Captain Tightpants Hammer and it will be awesome. *Three Halloweens ago I had just chopped off my hair so I consoled myself by being a pirate. And two Halloweens ago I was also Pam. That's about all my branching out since, oh, 2002.
Sometimes I run across a quiz and I just can't resist finding out my results. And sometimes, the more random the quiz the more intrigued I am. How can one resist taking such a wholly irrelevant quiz like "How Sexy is Your Aura?" or "What Random Object Are You?"
I have a special place in my cold* heart for silly Twilight quizzes. I just can't resist finding out what I smell like to such a dreamboat as Edward Cullen.
Here's a little puzzle for all you Harry Potter fans. The Mister and I were wandering about Shopko tonight before going to see The Time Traveler's Wife (Eric Bana: your hair was so bad. You know what I'm talking about.), and we spotted a new "World of Harry Potter" calendar. And then we spotted something else...
Some time I ago I watched Disney's Robin Hood, and during the movie I tried to decide what each of the main characters would look like as humans. It was a fun little game and it reflected well on Disney that 1) I could do that successfully and 2) they all turned into unique peoples with a variety of traits. Soon after that I watched Land Before Time (this was done on a long plane trip with two well behaved little kiddos). I tried to do the same thing, but all my mental pictures turned into chubby, pigeon toed kids with weirdly long eyelashes and tiny ears. And then I realized who Little Foot looked like.
Yeah, that chubby whining kid in the beginning of Jurassic Park. Look at those long eyelashes, those little ears that stick out. Zoom out a bit and you'll surely notice his pudgy, little boy belly too. Heck, he could even be pigeon toed.
See what I mean? Kind of ironic, isn't it. Side note: Isn't Jurassic Park just divine?
But on a positive note, the other night as part of our ongoing Disney marathon, the Mister and I watched Robin Hood. This time I realized that Little John resembled an actual person as well.
I mean, right?? The mustache, the girth, the acting skills, the foppishness. It's all there, conveniently packaged in the illustrious Frenchiness that is Gerard Depardieu whom I love as Cyrano de Bergerac.
Next in the marathon is Winnie the Pooh. Will there be any resemblances to be found? Eeyore and Hugh Laurie? Rabbit and Patrick Stewart? Christopher Robin and Zac Efron? Only time and the TV will tell what delights await me.
One of the first things I noticed when I moved back to Utah land was UVU's billboard advertising a Snow Patrol concert in October. Of course this was in May so I didn't worry about it too much since I was too busy being unemployed. Oh, and that wedding thing. Anyway, fall came, but I still hadn't done much more about it besides squealing happily whenever we drove by the sign. (Procrastinate much? Yes.) Then our first month anniversary came along last month and it was followed shortly by this posting on our Super Secret Love Blog:
Three cheers for my thoughtful Mister who surprised me with tickets. Fast forward to this past weekend, and we headed off to the show itself. I'm not going to give you a play by play because you can probably imagine it (loud, awesome), but here are a few anecdotes in bulleted fashion.
We pulled into the parking lot where we were stopped by an events man and his 10 year old boy. "Three dollars for parking!" the man said. We didn't have a lick of cash, and we said so. And then the boy says "Just go on through then!" The man agreed and so we went on our way without a fuss. It's too bad for all those folks who happened to have cash, hmm?
T-shirts were $30. What a rip off that I wanted nonetheless.
Gary Lightbody had his long hair, which made me so glad. Also, at one point he was laying on top of the piano which amused me. Oh, Gary Lightbody, you're such a card!
I was even more glad when they were good live. Phew.
They played a new song! It made me really want a new cd, but since A Hundred Million Suns came out last fall it'll probably be a while still. Besides the new song, it was a good mix and they played all of my favorites, even the ones from Final Straw. The favorites were probably "Run", "Chasing Cars" and "The Lightning Strike."
And of course it was so nice to be there with the Mister, who has been working on his own Snow Patrol interest the last few months. I don't think he would have minded if I'd thrown myself at Gary Lightbody, do you? (I just want to hug him and pat his hair so much)
Anyway, it was a great night and we were only slightly deafened by the experience. As a reward for reading this post I give you my favorite Snow Patrol video (the original version! It's an important distinction). Kindly note Gary Lightbody's long hair of which I am so fond.
PS: I was going to include more videos but it's so hard to find them where embedding is enabled. So instead I will give you links so you can watch more Snow Patrol. Run from Final Straw, You're All I Have from Eyes Open and Crack the Shutters from A Hundred Million Suns.
As much as I hate to use my blog for this, I really want to go to Disneyland. So! If you want to go to Disneyland too and don't want to pay for it, you can enter contests at Sweet Life in the Valley or Out & About with the Family to win trips to Magicland Disneyland. And just to make reading this post even more worth your while, look at this pretty picture.
