Tuesday, June 27, 2006

A Side Note for Boys who are Dumb and Don't Know, Pt. 2

You may think that peeing in the showers leaves no evidence but it ALWAYS SMELLS. And it smells bad.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Words: they're all we have to go on

Speaking of words, here are some I like from The Two Towers, just for fun:
"Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow;
The days have gone in the West behind the hills into shadow.
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning,
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?"

Isn't that great? This is another great one, from Unfinished Tales, in Turin's tale:
Says Turin: "'...I will not receive gifts out of Doriath.'
'Then send back your sword and your arms,' said Beleg. 'Send back also the teaching and fostering of your youth. And let your men die in the desert to please your mood. Nonetheless, this waybread was a gift not to you but to me, and I may do with it as I will. Eat it not, if it sticks in your throat; but others here may be more hungry and less proud.'"

Beleg is so awesome. The Elves are so awesome in general, but Beleg is especially awesome. And on a different note, this is a good bit of words from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and one I can relate to on a regular basis.
"I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good."
So says Zaphod Beeblebrox and so say we all.

A Side Note for Boys who are Dumb and Don't Know

Pee goes in the toilet and snot goes on tissues or toilet paper. NOWHERE ELSE. EVER.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Quaker with a Vengeance

"They are fighting Quakers; they are Quakers with a vengeance." Moby Dick was the last book I expected to find this line in. Ever since all I can think of is this: Is this where the idea came from for the name Die Hard with a Vengeance? Is this the first instance of X with a vengeance? Has anyone done any research on this? Today I read a blurb that said Moby Dick was great except that it needed 70 chapters edited out. These are the sort of things that make me lose respect for people.

I just ignored a HP theory that referred to "Serveus Snape." That's what we call a warning bell that this theory is not going to be very good. Speaking of good, I'm watching Scary Movie 3 on tv right now, and it's just so dumb and funny. "The dogs are acting weird!" Hahahahah. Comedies are always better when they're spoofs. Speaking of funny and Harry Potter, this is a good site. I bet there's some real gold in those title executions.

I remember when I saw this movie the first time. Gosh, this movie is funny. I think I ate pistachio ice cream and phish food ice cream too. Probably some cherry limeade IBC soda, which is one of the best soda flavors ever. That was a good night. I haven't had any of those things for a while. I'm hungry and I don't want to go to work tomorrow because it just bites. Teenage boys are a pill. A big messy pill.

Speaking of pills, I'm out of Advil. Donations of any size would be welcomed.

"The Sad Green Eyes of the Boy Who Lived"...That's gold, Jerry! Gold!

"Harry Potter and the TimeTurning Hippogriff"...I knew JK Rowling could have done more with Buckbeak.

Monday, June 12, 2006

I'll Be Your Strawberry

So I read this theory the other day about how Lupin was replaced by a Polyjuiced Wormtail between OOTP and HBP. This theory made a few relevant points but overall, I think the real question is, what would this accomplish? Not really anything relevant, except that, well, Lupin is not Lupin. Honestly, Lupin really isn't crucial enough a character to make this a burning question (as opposed to a Ron not being Ron situation). This lack of relevance is the problem with many theories. The Snape-is-a-Vampire theory. So what if he were a vampire? What would that mean? That...he's going to bite Harry? That...he'll pick the garlic out of his food at dinner? Take a different theory, say, was X at Godric's Hollow the night the Potters were killed? This is relevant because if X was there, X may know some hithero unknown important detail. This is the difference. So, when it comes down to the question of when a theory is total Hogwarts hogwash or not, the question is, what difference would this make? So, just keep that in mind whilst you spin your Harry Potter webs.

While we're on this topic, here's another thing: Dumbledore. He is dead. Dead as a doornail. First, his portrait is in his office. Second, everyone knew he was going to die at some point because this is just what happens to wise old wizards. Unfortunately, Dumbledore was not an Istar so he can't come back. Third, I think it would be mean trick for JK Rowling to pull, after all the emotional upheaval at the end of HBP and I don't think she'd do that. There was so much Dumbledore closure at the end he doesn't need to come back (this is one reason why it would be nice to see Mr. Black again...and to get more Mr. Oldman in the movies). That reminds me of a really funny part in POA about Humphrey Boggart. Hahahahaha.

Anyway, so in conclusion: Most theories are pointless. Dumbledore is dead. And, finally, while the debate is interesting, it's kind of pointless to debate the What-are-Snape's-Loyalties? issue because JK Rowling has made his character so inscrutable. He could go either way or a different way altogether and it wouldn't be inconsistent. Oh, and as for those Snape-died-not-Dumbledore theories, whatever.

So anyway, what this all means is, what are people going to talk about after Book 7 is out? Are people going to debate for the next ten years about how many kids Harry and Hermione had afterwards? Why Ginny had to die a painful death at the hands of an irate Prof. Sprout? The true meaning of the words "Never tickle a sleeping dragon"? Maybe it will all die down except for the fanatics until 100 years from now when Peter Jackson emerges from carbon freezing and remakes all 7 movies.

And just for the record, while I don't buy the Polyjuiced Peter theory, I am convinced there is a character that is not who they seem (possibly for the whole series). Either polyjuiced, a metamorphmagus, an animagus or something else remains to be seen but I'm sure of it. Maybe it's even R.A.B. Wouldn't that be intriguing? And relevant. I am so wize.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

The Whomping Willow

I just finished watching Prisoner of Azkaban (which I haven't watched in AGES but I think may be in my top favorite movies) and I had a thought towards the end. As we all know, JK Rowling has said that that movie has foreshadowings/clues/etc. in it about future books, and occasionally I try to figure out one of them. Besides the prominent crow population, I haven't found anything. BUT tonight I had a little idea. So, it was at the part when the Lupinwolf tries to attack the trio and Snape is blocking but is knocked aside. A lot of people read that as Snape will save Harry! but I just don't think Snape is that good. Maybe he will, but anyway that's besides the point. What I was thinking is maybe Lupin will kill Snape and here is why that would be cool: James and Sirius were the main Snape tormentors and Snape has outlasted both of them. Wouldn't it be cool if Lupin, the "nice" Marauder, was the one who finished Snape off in the end? It would be so ironic. Of course unless Snape turns out to really be a traitor, I don't know why Lupin would kill him. But anyway, it was a thought. On a related note, I hope Lupin doesn't die (unless the alternative is a Tonks marriage) but if he does I hope both Peter and Snape die as well. It just wouldn't be fair if either of them (Snape or Peter) outlasted the last true Marauder. It also wouldn't be fair if ALL the Marauders were dead. Anyway.

In other news, everyone is out of town now so it's kind of boring around here. And I don't want to go to class tomorrow. Though there are only two weeks of class left so it can't be that bad right? Except I have an oral in French on Tuesday and that will be potentially bad. But hopefully good. We'll see.

In other news...I guess that's all the news really. Oh, the good news is that I got chocolate brownie ice cream yesterday and it's super tasty. I've already eaten too much of it. And I started Return of the King today which is exciting. I think I may read all the Harry Potters again when I finish it. Anyway, I think I want some more ice cream now.