I've been meaning to blog all week, but haven't gotten around to it yet (obviously). My sister and her kidlets came to visit and I have been spending my free time playing hide and seek and answering the question "But why are you going to work again?" every morning.
But I still want to blog and as it is almost exactly a year since the following incident happened, I thought I should repost it, just to spread my horror to more people. So, enjoy, and to quote one of my favorite professors, I must ask you not to scream.
"OK. Check this out:
Fifteen minutes ago I'm walking downstairs to check my email. The light is off and I see a dark blob on the carpet. 90% of the time in a Middle Kingdom* summer, these blobs are kid-dropped raisins. This time it was HUGE FREAKING SPIDER. FAT AS A BASEBALL. I scream for my sister, who arrived from the shower. We stare in horror. She fetches my boot. I hold the boot and we cringe for ten minutes. Finally, I hit the spider and it gets so. much. worse.
HUNDREDS OF THINGS SWARM OUT OF THE SPIDER CORPSE. SPIDER BABIES. AKIN TO THE LOST IN THE SPACE SPIDER CREATURES EXCEPT NO GARY OLDMAN SPIDER HYBRID TO KEEP ME FROM SCREAMING.
Oh yes, friends, it was fat with babies. And so I sprayed them all with hastily-fetched bleach spray. And lo, they are dead and the hall smells like bleach.
Now we have to wait for it to dry so we can vacuum up mother and baby hoards. Seriously, I thought I had landed in a sci-fi channel original movie and the spider was really dead but was being eaten from the inside by nefarious parasite spider killers. I don't know which was worse."
Sometimes at night I can still hear the screaming.
*This originates from a funny boy I call Coop. Story will follow at a future date.