This Stuff: I'm Right

So, I like to be right. It's pretty common knowledge. I especially like to be right when I know I'm right, meaning when I am right about a factual thing. For instance, I can't prove that my sister did really watch Olive Twist or that she really didn't read My Cousin Rachel (try as I might). I don't have to be right. I know I can be wrong. I mix things up and forget things. But I do know somethings. Like these three things.

Many moons ago, I was in first grade. When I was in first grade, I was really fond of whales. I was so fond of whales that my teacher gave me a little book all about them as part of some reading program. Anyway, whales. So when one of my classmates brought up killer whales, I informed him that they are called orcas. He disputed this and I disputed back and in the end he still refused to believe me. But I was right! I can let this one go due to the age of the participants, but it is any early indication of my fondness of being right.

The next two involve a boy that I worked with my freshmen year at BYU. He was a pill for a variety of reasons, but these are the two reasons I mostly remember. Do you remember that awful movie The Musketeer? I'll admit to seeing it in the theater. It has Tim Roth, Justin Chambers and an inexplicable Mena Suvari in it. You know who's not in it? Johnny Depp. He disputed this and I was all "What are you smoking?" but he insisted. Now you can check imdb for yourselves and know that I was right. I never convinced him but that is because he was dumb.

Not long after that he tried to convince me that a Levi's commercial was actually a Wranglers commercial. The commercial was basically a guy on a mechanical bull and then the Levi's logo at the end--pretty hard to mix up, right? But he insisted it was Wranglers and even had the nerve to bring it up a few days later and say "I saw that commercial again last night. It's definitely Wranglers." I made some noncommittal grunt and let it die, even though I'd seen it again too and it was definitely Levi's. I wish I could say I found the commercial on You Tube, but the only reference I found to it was this page detailing the appearance of Chucks in the media.

Can you imagine if I'd seen Clue in the theater and someone else saw a different ending? Our debate would never end!