Nerds

I have been thinking about nerds lately. Not the small delicious candy nerds, but the people kind. A few weeks ago at the workplace one of my coworkers said she likes microfilm. She used to look at it a lot with her mom to do genealogy work and she still likes it. Then she said how she doesn't think of herself as a nerd until she says things like that. And I thought to myself, why is microfilm nerdy? Why should liking it make you a nerd? What is so inherently nerdy about microfilm? And why is nerdiness a bad thing anyway?

Why should anyone be ashamed of their interests (I mean, so long as they aren't obsessive or destructive)? If someone is really into Project Runway, no one bats an eye. Instead they say "Oh, I love Project Runway! That dress that Ping made didn't even cover the model's bum!" If someone is a really into Star Wars, it's like an automatic nerd label. Why is being a fan of Tim Gunn more acceptable than being a fan of Yoda? They're both wise and well dressed, with unique ways of talking.

I guess I just don't get why some things are socially acceptable and cool and other things are uncomfortable to admit to. Should I only wear my knee socks at home and hide my sweater vests under jackets? Should I hide the fact that I love Battlestar and just say that I like The Office? I didn't even realize that my BSG love is shameful until two girls in NPR were hassling their fellow interviewer guy for being a big fan.

I'm not ashamed of the things I like or do. I'm not a running nerd because I run. I'm not a computer nerd because I like computers. I'm not a food nerd because I watch the Food Network. I like lots of things. I like some things a lot. I guess if that makes me a nerd then I am a happy and proud nerd. But I think it's stupid to label myself anything except awesome. I'm awesome. That's all.

Things: I Recommend Them. Or Not.

This past weekend Mister Graham and I went up to Salt Lake for belated Valentine's Day/6 month anniversary/4 years of knowing each other/employment/new apartment celebrations. We did a number of fun things, like checking out the hotel pool and eating ever so much food at Red Lobster. We also did some fun things that popped up in our path unexpectedly and now I'm going to tell you about them.

While making our way to the mall on foot we ran into a banner for a Jamie Wyeth exhibit at the Salt Lake art center. I crowed with delight and we went straight in. The exhibit is mostly comprised of a series of paintings based on the seven deadly sins--with seagulls. I am quite sure I have never seen such sinister sea gulls. It was unexpected but it made sense (rather than seagulls for the sake of being unexpected) and it totally worked. As time goes on, I realize more and more that I like representational art. Even though there are abstract artists that I respect, I still just can't really love their work. But I suppose that's a topic for another post. Anyway, if you're up in the area, I highly recommend you check it out. It's free and it's small so it doesn't take very long. I liked it so much I got the exhibit guide, and you can read a little more about the exhibit here. I may have spent the rest of the weekend working on my seagull face (mostly inspired by the Proud seagull with the lobster).

Secondly, on our way into the museum we notice a big yellow food truck out front selling Chinese food. Since we had Red Lobster plans we didn't stop, but thought we might get lunch there the next day. Lo and behold, when we were buying the exhibit guide, we found that the museum was giving out vouchers for a free meal from the Chow Truck. We had to wait a while and it was so cold, but the food was great! It came with "root vegetable chips" that were surprisingly delicious. I only could identify one of the roots (sweet potato) but I have been since pondering how to get some more.

And finally, two short recommendations. One, if you are traveling, bring the case for your contact lenses. Otherwise you might have to do this:
And if you know you're going to go out to eat and possibly have leftovers, it would be ideal if your hotel room has a mini fridge. Otherwise your husband will be running to the ice machine in the wee hours of the morning to restock your "fridge."*
Okay, so you can't really see the ice in this picture, mostly because this was just before we filled the bag up again before heading back to Provo. But it's THERE. And during the night it was all situated in the bathroom sink. Also, it worked and our leftover seafooderies were preserved.

*He didn't get up to do this, but being up for the bathroom, he saw what needed to be done. What a man. An ice-fetching man.

Money: It Must Be Funny

In case you have not heard the news, I recently ended my long streak of unemployment with a return to the workforce. The workforce I joined is a company called Backstage Library Works, and because I'm so bored with trying to explain the company to non-library people, I'm going to write it all out here and then none of you can ask me any questions about it ever again.

Okay, only semi-kidding because I'm happy that I have a job to explain to people and a few years ago I would have made that same puzzled face at hearing "It's a company called Backstage Library Works." But I'm not really one who enjoys retelling the same story over and over, even when it's a fun one. Similarly, this past Sunday Drew and I realized that I am more like a man when it comes to listening because I don't like to rehash the same story and I try to solve other people's stories instead of just sympathizing. Meanwhile Drew is more like a woman because he is a rehasher and good at listening without forcing unwanted solutions on people. Somehow we balance out.* That was a long sidenote.

Anyway. So, a few weeks ago I applied at BSLW where I blew through a typing test and took a bunch of quizzes designed to test my brain. I was asked many perplexing things like the years of the Civil War (1861-1865) and whether Nova Scotia is a country, city, state or none of those (province). I did it all in my trusty Jack Sparrow t-shirt, which I kept under my coat to avoid looking unprofessional while interacting with sheets of paper**.

That was a Friday and on Monday they called to set up an interview, which I had on Wednesday or something. I put on my charm and, finally, felt somewhat successful afterwards instead of going home to cry (okay, that rarely happened). When my interviewer called on Friday I was sure she was using her "I'm about to disappoint you voice" but no, she offered me a spot on the team. Huzzah! I took it, and was a little relieved to hear I'd have a week before starting (sweet, impoverished freedom).

Now I will tell you what I do. BSLW does a lot of cataloging stuff for all kinds of libraries. For instance, some old school libraries still have card catalogs and they hire BSLW to make all their catalog digital. In my case, I am part of the group that is switching a library's collection from their own system to the Library of Congress classification system. This means I look at their records, I search for the item in a database to find a call number, I verify it and I put it in the record. Sometimes there are none and I have to find them myself on the Library of Congress's website. I would show this to you if it didn't require a login. It would make all this much more impressive if you could see all the rules and exceptions and exception exceptions. Just know that it hurts my brain by the end of the day.

Now I'm starting my second week but have yet to work on the actual project because I'm still training. I make lots of stupid errors, just like I did in my cataloging class in the beforetimes. Sometimes I come home and wail about my sure-to-come firing, but then Drew pats me on the head and gives me chocolates.*** But it is good to be working in a library-related business, and I like the work. I seem to do pretty well with monotonous tasks involving just me and a computer, though I do miss handling actual items (it's half the fun!).

So, there you have it. I only recently realized that it's been just about 9 months since I last worked, and it is rather a shift getting back into that mode. It was really convenient to have such an open schedule, but I think it will be even more convenient to have twice our current moneys. That means we can go to Disneyland and Disney World sooner, and isn't that what it's all about?
*I actually can't remember what this asterisk was going to say. I remembered! That whole man/woman thing is according to what people were saying in our marriage class on Sunday. No, we aren't in counseling. We just go because they asked people with A-K last names to go and boost the numbers. Anyway, we are traditional in our gender ways otherwise.
**Nope, can't remember this one either.
***We didn't really have any chocolate but he did get me ice cream.

This Stuff: I'm Right

So, I like to be right. It's pretty common knowledge. I especially like to be right when I know I'm right, meaning when I am right about a factual thing. For instance, I can't prove that my sister did really watch Olive Twist or that she really didn't read My Cousin Rachel (try as I might). I don't have to be right. I know I can be wrong. I mix things up and forget things. But I do know somethings. Like these three things.

Many moons ago, I was in first grade. When I was in first grade, I was really fond of whales. I was so fond of whales that my teacher gave me a little book all about them as part of some reading program. Anyway, whales. So when one of my classmates brought up killer whales, I informed him that they are called orcas. He disputed this and I disputed back and in the end he still refused to believe me. But I was right! I can let this one go due to the age of the participants, but it is any early indication of my fondness of being right.

The next two involve a boy that I worked with my freshmen year at BYU. He was a pill for a variety of reasons, but these are the two reasons I mostly remember. Do you remember that awful movie The Musketeer? I'll admit to seeing it in the theater. It has Tim Roth, Justin Chambers and an inexplicable Mena Suvari in it. You know who's not in it? Johnny Depp. He disputed this and I was all "What are you smoking?" but he insisted. Now you can check imdb for yourselves and know that I was right. I never convinced him but that is because he was dumb.

Not long after that he tried to convince me that a Levi's commercial was actually a Wranglers commercial. The commercial was basically a guy on a mechanical bull and then the Levi's logo at the end--pretty hard to mix up, right? But he insisted it was Wranglers and even had the nerve to bring it up a few days later and say "I saw that commercial again last night. It's definitely Wranglers." I made some noncommittal grunt and let it die, even though I'd seen it again too and it was definitely Levi's. I wish I could say I found the commercial on You Tube, but the only reference I found to it was this page detailing the appearance of Chucks in the media.

Can you imagine if I'd seen Clue in the theater and someone else saw a different ending? Our debate would never end!

Weeps: And Wails

A while ago the Mister and I were watching TV and one of those Puffs tissues commercials came on--you know, the animated ones with the kids (for instance). I like those commercials and I said so at the time. I think the kids are funny looking in a way that is charming. D-Rew said there was an earlier short by the same animator that would make me change my tune, but I just snootily said "A nose in need deserves Puffs indeed."

A little while later he found the short online. It's called "The Sandman" and it was actually nominated for an Oscar. Anyway. So we started watching it before the bedtimes, until I got the heebie jeebies. But we finished it the next day and it wasn't too bad, just spooky. Then! A month or so afterwards I had this awful dream about it that I can't even remember but I have been a little bit terrified at the thought of this Sandman ever since.

So, here is the video. Don't watch it if you're easily spooked or if you're going to bed. Or maybe even if you have small children.

2009: The Happening...s

So, I totally wrote an entire 2009 summary post and I published it, about 15 minutes ago. Then, while getting the mail and puttering around the house since then I have been feeling very unsatisfied with it. So I deleted it and now I'm starting all over again. It was rubbish, mainly because I was totally distracted while I wrote it. Let us begin anew!

I think it goes without saying that 2009 was a good year for me. I graduated, I had long hair again, I got some really cute new shoes. Oh yes, and I got married. It's hard to beat August 15th as my favorite day of 2009, but there were a lot of good days. There were some other things that were sad or lame or angryfying, but I don't want to list all of those out. But I do want to list out some of my favorite things and some things I look forward to this coming year. First, the fun things.

• The wedding. Duh.
  
• Disneyland! Twice! Disneyland is magical. It just is.
• Graduation. I like to be celebrated, it's true, but graduations are always kind of sad to me though because it means a chapter is over. But it was fun to sit with Marcue and giggle about Blaise Cronin. (P.S. I still don't use iTunes.)
  
• D'CALC good times! Food challenges, laughing about Twilight, book club, movie excursions, D'CALC night. Good times at my favorite apartment with my favorite roommates.
  

Besides, you know, being married, I haven't done a whole lot of new things this year (as opposed to 2008, which was notable for a lot of new things). Mostly I've gotten to know a lot of new kitchen appliances and recipes. It is kind of exciting to discover I do, in fact, have an ability to make food that tastes good. And now here comes 2010 and what is there to look forward to?

• A job? Being unemployed for the last 7 months or so makes me wary of putting a . in there.
  
• Disneyland! Okay, so we don't have any definite plans to visit, but since we're going to get free passes, we have to go. I mean, right? Maybe we'll finally make it there for the Halloween festivities.
  
• Spring. In general. I'm just about done with this winter thing (though I do like my sweaters).
  
• Everything else. Really, there's so much to look forward to this year. Deathly Hallows, a one year anniversary, lots of pho, visits from my kith and kin, Black Friday sales, the Fourth of July...the list goes on and on.
  

As for resolutions in 2010, I don't really have any because I don't really care to make them. But there are a few things from 2009 I want to keep up so shall we call these things resolutions? No, we won't because I don't care about those. We will call them "things I will keep doing." I want to keep running and do at least one 10K this year. I want to keep drawing and be better by the end of the year. I want to keep making foods and learning new food things, like how to make rolls and roast chickens. It'd be great if I could wrap up a writing project or two, just to finally finish one in my life ever. But let's not get too ambitious!

I don't really know where this year is going to go. Maybe 2011 will arrive and life will be totally different. Or maybe it will be pretty much the same. And no, Mom, I am not referring to babies, but job things.

Anyway, here's to 2010. May it be good.

Come On: Catch Up

Have you noticed that I'm not very good at doing follow-up posts when I say I will? I've left a lot of things hanging lately, and even now I don't want to pick them back up again. I have newer, better things to write about!

But. I decided to be methodical and finish a few things I recently started. That's what this post is for. The second prong of this two-pronged attack at blogcrastination will be a list on the sidebar of things I will post about next/later. It will mostly be for my own reference and motivation, but if you are curious, feel free to look at it and harass me until I post about vampire baseball. So, where were we?

Ah yes. The calendar game. Remember when I posted that picture of the Harry Potter calendar and wanted you all to try to figure out what was wrong with it? Well. Cami was the only one to spot it, but it's hard to tell from a little picture. Yes, the answer is that that is TOTALLY not Bonnie Wright as Ginny on the cover. Let's look at it again.

Can you tell yet? Probably not. Luckily for you, we found it again and took some pictures. They're kind of blurry but hopefully you still get the idea.

Do you see it now? Okay okay, so after looking at this picture I can kind of see it, but I think she definitely looks different, especially around her eyes and mouth. Maybe someone was just having a really good time in Photoshop, but surely it's not a coincidence that two HP experts were immediately flummoxed by her appearance.

Next. Surely you remember the Disney challenge, the one that clearly challenged you all to point of not trying at all. Well, now I will give you the answers and you will wonder at some of them, but most of them spun out of a few things: 1) their names sounded so weird I couldn't remember them 2) I didn't know their name and made up one based on a physical trait 3) their real name reminded me of another name/word that stuck in my head more. Now to the list, which is lengthy:

The Black Cauldron (the one that started it all):
-Eliwoniwoohoo=Eilonwy
-Flitter Flooven=Fflewddur Fflam
-Creepster=Creeper
-The Gurgle=Gurgi

The Rescuers Down Under (*Joanna noise*):
-Marihootie=Marahute

Pocahontas:
-Naima=Nakoma
-Coconuts=Kocoum

The Hunchback of Notre Dame:
-Clotile=Clopin

Mulan:
-Ping Pong=Chien-Po
-David Lopan=Chi-Fu

Tarzan:
-Curtains=Kerchak
-Saber=Sabor

The Emperor's New Groove:
-Poncho Libre=Pacha

Atlantis:
-Rosie Perez=Audrey (I really thought she did the voice)
-Roach=Rourke

Lilo and Stitch:
-Freeloader=Lilo (it started with "Frilo" and went from there)
-Sharkboy=Gantu
-Wazowski=Pleakley

Treasure Planet:
-Dogbert=Delbert (because he's a dog...get it?)
-Camelia=Amelia (because she's a cat...get it?)
-Rockface=Arrow
-Mlerf=Morph

Home on the Range:
-Queenie=Mrs. Caloway (She's Judi Dench!)
-Meggie Moo=Maggie (Ugh, Roseanne. I should have called her "annoying.")

So, there you have it. And now I'm two topics closer to posting about more fun things.

Pictures: And a Story

There are so many things I want to blog about and have been meaning to blog about. Instead I'm going to tell you about my camera. I bought Red Camera last April, just in time for a few trips. (Side note: with all of the other things I name, you'd think I'd have given the camera a better one. But "Red Camera" just seemed to fit.)
I got really attached to Red Camera. It went with me to Disneyland the first time, and it continued to document all kind of glorious things like food challenges, the first picture with D-Rew, vampire baseball and my hair. Fast forward to this past August and Red Camera faithfully documented our honeymoon and came away from the sandy beaches unscathed.

Then, just a few days later, we went to Thanksgiving Point's Museum of Ancient Life, where I soon spotted a giant dinosaur bone. I pulled out Red Camera, turned it on and...what? The screen was just a messed up, static-y...thing. I couldn't see a thing out of it except for slight little bit in the very upper left corner. But when it was turned off, I could see this on the screen:
I have no idea what happened or when it happened, but it was tragic. Red Camera has no view finder so it was basically useless, although I did manage to take a few pictures now and then. It was always a surprise to see how they turned out on the computer. I e-mailed the local Nikon repair people and they estimated about $110 altogether (about 20 less than I paid for it). Heck no.

Anyway, so I pestered Drew a bit about Christmas presents, and just before Black Friday he told me to figure out what camera I wanted. So I researched for hours and got flustered and indecisive. Really I just wanted Red Camera because it's still new and it worked, aside from the screen. I finally googled the problem and LO, there are replacement screens! You just buy them! Like socks or sponges! Kind of. I found several on eBay for very reasonable prices, and one seller (a camera store) offered to install them for free. So I passed the information along and rubbed my hands with glee.

Tuesday was our four month anniversary and I got an early Christmas present. I couldn't take a picture of it because it was Red Camera, faithfully restored. Drew put in the screen himself and it is as good as new. This was the first picture I took.
It was thrilling to see it come up on the screen and hear the familiar whirring and beep. Ah. Then I took a picture of these, which came with Red Camera. Aren't they so lovely and festive and washed out in this picture?
And then we went to get pho, and it was so delicious. I think we get some just about every month. Good thing it's inexpensive and you get tons of it.
Well, I got pho and he got the sesame chicken. Look how cute.
So that is the story of Red Camera. It lives again, as good as new, thanks to some research from me and some stealthy repair work from the Mister. Score.

This Quiz: It's for You aka The Disney Experience, Pt. 1

So, after 107 days, we have finished watching all the Disney movies and are now all set to see The Princess and the Frog tonight. I can't believe it took us that long to watch those 44 movies, but I'm more surprised that we've been married more than 100 days. My how the time does fly.

Anyway, my next post will be more about the winners and losers in the bunch. This post is, as stated, quiz oriented. Let me tell you a story: At a certain point in the marathon, one of the movies had the strangest character names. Sometimes I need to see a word to get my head around it and this was, I suppose, one of these instances. Since I couldn't remember or pronounce their names, I made them up. This started a trend of name garbling for the rest of the movies, off and on (depending on my familiarity with them).

Below you will find a list of the names I made up, along with a list of the movies they came from. Can you figure out the movie each of these name garbled characters came from? Even better, you can figure out what the real names are on your own? At the end of this post you can find all the real character names if you need some hints (some will quickly become obvious). I would encourage you to try to figure them out yourselves before looking at the list. Also, internet-aided victories do not count as much! Good luck!


You know, I had to look up most of these real names because I still don't know them (or at least how to spell them). I've left off any titles or last names. In the next post I'll list all the answers and a few explanations for some of them, although most of them just popped into my head.

This Stuff: It's Pretty

I just finished updating my Amazon wishlist (Persuasion and Northanger Abbey, DREW) and it got me thinking about some things I've had my eye on lately that aren't on Amazon. I don't generally like to do online shopping for clothing because I like to feel things and try them on. It seems like the chance for un/intentional deception is greater and plus I just like the mall. Anyway, here are some things I've found recently in the stores and online that make me say "Hey! That's cool."

I normally stay out of Nordstrom. It's just never really been the store for my budget. But every once in a while I take a peek in the Brass Plum section and the last time I did that I found this coat. Isn't it pretty? Okay okay, so maybe I have a few coats already. But I don't have a long coat. Or white one... Hmmm.

A recent Clean House episode reminded me of one of these next items.


I'm not really into necklaces. But who wouldn't want a divers helmet necklace? I can imagine wearing either of these and cackling to myself at how much more awesome I am than everyone else.

Of course there had to be some shoes on this list. While walking through JC Penney the other day I spotted them and then quickly dragged myself away (the more time I spend with a pair of shoes the less likely I am to leave without them). But look! So red! So shiny! Bonus: they remind me this.

Back when I first started to ponder how to do my wedding hair, I was pretty set on a white flowered headband for a long while after seeing this particular one. I liked that it was pretty, without being gigantic, and it would be the easiest way to do my hair and still make it look nice. Then I moved to Utah and saw three girls wearing white flowered headbands on the first Sunday. Ah well. I still like this one.

Maybe in another six months I'll have enough content for another post like this.

These Eggs: They're Not Joanna's

A while ago I mentioned that the Mister and I are watching all the animated Disney movies in order. No, we're not done yet--it takes a while--but we are nearing the end with less than 10 to go. Once we are done I plan to write a big review of the whole thing since there are some that I'd not seen for years or not at all. Some were better than remembered, some were worse and some were just dull. But some things just can't wait until that post (Dumbo, anyone?).

Have you seen Rescuers Down Under recently? I always really liked this one (that Jake! So dashing.) but I hadn't seen it for quite some time. How did I forget how hilarious Joanna is?



She is hysterical. These days I look for any opportunity to start making Joanna noises and faces. It goes something like "Gahhhhrrrrrrablarhblarh." There is something else Joanna-related that makes me laugh heartily but to get it, first you have to hear this song:



Hopefully you did not get an eyeful of Alan Rickman's tight gold pants. Anyway, do you see where I'm going with all this?

Hah! It makes me laugh everytime (and comes courtesy of Makani). Oh, Joanna. Gahhhhrrrrrrablarhblarh.

Volterra: There's No Place Like It

I bet you're all sick of the New Moon chatter. I guess I am a bit, but I think I'm more tired of swine flu and health care talk. But that's just me, and I am pretty much always game for pop culture talk that doesn't involve Lindsay Lohan. Just kidding, I can talk about Lohan whenever the topic comes up. She's just a basket case, am I right?

Anyway Saturday morning Marcue and I had a partial D'CALC reunion when we met to see New Moon. I'm having a little bit of trouble formulating a really solid opinion on it, and I think it's because there were no surprises with this movie. It was exactly like the book, and yes, so was Twilight but in all honesty, I think Twilight did it with more style and that made it more fun to watch. Twilight had a look and it had a sense of humor, but New Moon may as well have been made by brownies. That said, I've always had a big soft spot for the book because it has so much Jacob. The same goes for the movie, and the movie just made it even more clear why I prefer him as a character to Edward. He's likable, he's normal, he's happy and he has interests besides Bella--oh, the novelty. Plus, he doesn't sparkle and I've always been a sucker for long haired Native American boys. Of course, I've always liked werewolves better than vampires anyway. Remember that early X-Files episode about werewolves and Native Americans called "Shapes"? It's so great and spooky, and even has BSG's Dr. Cottle. Anyway.

New Moon has an unfortunate story structure (similar to Breaking Dawn) where the supposed climax is mostly talk. In the movie, the plot goes something like beginning, middle, ending, middle, a little more ending and then a bit more middle at the very end. I don't think too highly of Stephenie Meyer's plotting skills, and honestly, if I didn't like Jacob, I think I would have been bored in this movie. Even so, I was a little bored.

Okay, instead of rambling further, I will break up the rest of my opinion into a series of memos to various characters/actors:

Edward: Quit emoing all over the place. You are such a drag. Also, why are you dressing like an old man? Please stop wearing lipstick. Painted on abs are not as good as real ones.

Alice: Your hair looks like a mushroom.

Charlie: You are much improved over book Charlie because you have some personality. I'm a bit fond of you.

Aro/Michael Sheen: You're still the best part of Underworld, and I almost look forward to you talking for the last hour of the Breaking Dawn movie. Almost.

Other Volturi head guys: Not-Anthony, you look like a couch potato. And there's a problem with your face. Anthony: What are you doing in this movie?

Jane and Felix: You bore me.

Wolf pack boys: Some of you are muffin topping out of your modest, knee-length shorts. I'm pretty sure you borrowed RPattz's ab paint.

Bella: Happy, as always, to not be in your head.

And just to get you all excited about Eclipse, here's a fanmade poster. It really captured the essence of the b--oh wait. What the heck is this?


EDIT: HOW did I not mention Jasper's hair?? It was SO bad. SO SO SO bad. Pictures can't capture it, it was just that bad.

That Tune: You Know It

Okay okay okay, I know my last post was Twilight-related, and I promise this won't last forever. It will, however, last until this weekend when I plan to give you all my thoughts on New Moon. Anyway, look at these Barbies:

I think they are awful. Especially Jacob's cut offs and water shoes. And Edward's sparkling plastic skin. BUT it is a rather dear wish of mine to do the following: Buy two tickets to New Moon at midnight. Buy all three of these dolls. Sit them in the chair beside me, complete with Barbie-sized popcorn and sodas--maybe even tiny movie tickets.

I don't know why this particular idea thrills me. Do I really want to be considered absurd by fellow movie goers? Then again, I'm sure some fans would love it and want to take pictures. Maybe I've just never outgrown the appeal of Barbie-sized items (okay, so maybe I still fawn over those miniature sleeping bags and tents at stores). Anyway, that's beside the point. And the point is that...I think doing this would be so very very funny. But since I already have my (Saturday) ticket and I have no Twilight dolls, it will never come to pass. Maybe for Eclipse...?

In a similar vein of things, Stephenie Meyer posted a big q&a and her website, and even though I only skimmed it, I got the feeling that she's a little burned out by the mania over her sparkly brainchild. I can only imagine that seeing things like this or this gets really old.

His Abs: Like a Muffin Pan

So, as you probably realized from my piece of genius "Bella Goes Grocery Shopping," I occasionally amuse myself by trying to write like Stephenie Meyer. I guess I just like the feeling that comes from writing overwrought, ridiculous descriptions and the cackling that follows (from me). My most recent efforts were for a writing contest sponsored by BYU's Daily Universe. The idea was to write, in 100 words or less, something to embody her style (described by them as "overearnest") although the entries didn't have to be Twilight related. You could submit three entries, and even though I think this was for BYU students, I entered anyway. No, I didn't win, but one of my sentences was picked for a "Favorite Sentence." So, here are my entries and you can try to figure out what that sentence was. Then you can check out the article and see if your guess was right (and read the winners).

Before school I spotted Edward's shiny Volvo as it whipped into the driveway. Sometimes that silver car reminded me of him--sleek, pale, fast, a model of aerodynamics. The hard, shiny exterior that was all softness on the inside. As Edward himself stepped out of the car with the lightness of a gazelle I tossed away the inadequate analogy. How could that dull piece of metal and leather compare to this living Adonis in my driveway? Metal was so pedestrian. Leather was just cow hides. Edward was flawless. A perfect sculpture made of some stone too beautiful for this world.*

Jacob. Just the thought of his name sent conflicting emotions running through me like rampant, untamed wildfire. On one hand, Jacob was my best friend. Comforting. Warm as the fading embers of a La Push campfire. He was perfectly selfless, willing to do almost anything I could ever ask. Then there was the other Jacob. That Jacob was strong, with abs like a muffin pan, arms as thick and muscled as a python and pectorals that looked like soft, fluffy pillows. Soft, fluffy pillows made of rocks. Soft, fluffy pillows that felt like iron under my hands, my cheek...**

Alice was the kind of girl that all other girls (except Rosalie, of course) were dying to be. Her heart-shaped face--the color of cold milk--was sweet, naive and, above all else, desperately and enchantingly beautiful. Her petite size only added to the illusion that she was as harmless as an exotic butterfly. But I knew that behind that delicate facade there was the power to truculently destroy any threat.*** I sometimes wondered if her wardrobe of designer peasant tops and couture ruffled skirts was a calculated move to trick any potential enemy into underestimating her.

The prizes for the top three involved tickets to New Moon. That would have been nice since I think the best way to see a Twilight movie involves freeness, but what the heck, I have a ticket anyway (I know, I know). I'll probably be breaking out the "Team Jacob" shirt again, but should I have the wherewithal for a new Twilight shirt, I would most definitely get this one. If you have the wherewithal, I would encourage you to buy one because it is awesome and then I would have cause to shake my fist at you and your wherewithal.

*This first entry was adapted from another little short story I wrote a month ago or so. You know that Edward vs. a Velociraptor poll that is still on the sidebar? Yeah, that's what it's about.

**Credit goes to Drew for the phrase "soft, fluffy pillows."

***Drew challenged me to use the word "truculent." He just loves those "Word of the Day" e-mails.

Hallow's Eve: It's Festive

I really like Halloween. There are a lot of good elements--fall, candies, costumes, pumpkins, spooky things. Also, Nightmare Before Christmas. But the costumes are surely my favorite part. I think I have dressed up pretty much every Halloween except for one year about 6-7 years ago when it was on a Sunday and there was no where to go and nothing to do. Anywhey, for the last long while I have been Hermione every year*, and you can probably guess that D-Rew has been Harry Potter for lo, these many years. So this year, after considering Jim and Pam for a while, we decided to join our magical forces for the first time. We were extremely accurate besides blatantly ignoring canon pairings, but Ginny was not an option. No.


We went to the local Trunk or Treat and we had both the best trunk and the best costumes. And then we ate pasta and Sticky Fingers at Wingers. Then we went home and watched Edward Scissorhands. Huzzah! (If you want a more detailed look at our Halloween festivities you can check out the Mister's blog. When he posts about it. Which he will because I'm watching him type it right now. I'm going to beat him to the punch though, haha.)

Anyway, on a final note, I realized that day that instead of our old English standbys, it would have been seriously awesome if we had been these guys instead:



Penny and Captain Hammer! It would have been awesome and hilarious and moderately obscure. If you don't know what I'm talking about, kindly investigate the world of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Now we have a whole year to get ready, and look out world, next Halloween we're going to be Penny and Captain Tightpants Hammer and it will be awesome.

*Three Halloweens ago I had just chopped off my hair so I consoled myself by being a pirate. And two Halloweens ago I was also Pam. That's about all my branching out since, oh, 2002.

This Information: What Do I Do With It?

Sometimes I run across a quiz and I just can't resist finding out my results. And sometimes, the more random the quiz the more intrigued I am. How can one resist taking such a wholly irrelevant quiz like "How Sexy is Your Aura?" or "What Random Object Are You?"

I have a special place in my cold* heart for silly Twilight quizzes. I just can't resist finding out what I smell like to such a dreamboat as Edward Cullen.

*no pun intended. Of course.

A Little Mind Game

Here's a little puzzle for all you Harry Potter fans. The Mister and I were wandering about Shopko tonight before going to see The Time Traveler's Wife (Eric Bana: your hair was so bad. You know what I'm talking about.), and we spotted a new "World of Harry Potter" calendar. And then we spotted something else...


Can you see it? Even better, can you explain it??

Two of a Kind

Some time I ago I watched Disney's Robin Hood, and during the movie I tried to decide what each of the main characters would look like as humans. It was a fun little game and it reflected well on Disney that 1) I could do that successfully and 2) they all turned into unique peoples with a variety of traits. Soon after that I watched Land Before Time (this was done on a long plane trip with two well behaved little kiddos). I tried to do the same thing, but all my mental pictures turned into chubby, pigeon toed kids with weirdly long eyelashes and tiny ears. And then I realized who Little Foot looked like.

Yeah, that chubby whining kid in the beginning of Jurassic Park. Look at those long eyelashes, those little ears that stick out. Zoom out a bit and you'll surely notice his pudgy, little boy belly too. Heck, he could even be pigeon toed.


See what I mean? Kind of ironic, isn't it. Side note: Isn't Jurassic Park just divine?

But on a positive note, the other night as part of our ongoing Disney marathon, the Mister and I watched Robin Hood. This time I realized that Little John resembled an actual person as well.


I mean, right?? The mustache, the girth, the acting skills, the foppishness. It's all there, conveniently packaged in the illustrious Frenchiness that is Gerard Depardieu whom I love as Cyrano de Bergerac.

Next in the marathon is Winnie the Pooh. Will there be any resemblances to be found? Eeyore and Hugh Laurie? Rabbit and Patrick Stewart? Christopher Robin and Zac Efron? Only time and the TV will tell what delights await me.

Chase the Cars with your Eyes Open

One of the first things I noticed when I moved back to Utah land was UVU's billboard advertising a Snow Patrol concert in October. Of course this was in May so I didn't worry about it too much since I was too busy being unemployed. Oh, and that wedding thing. Anyway, fall came, but I still hadn't done much more about it besides squealing happily whenever we drove by the sign. (Procrastinate much? Yes.) Then our first month anniversary came along last month and it was followed shortly by this posting on our Super Secret Love Blog:

Three cheers for my thoughtful Mister who surprised me with tickets. Fast forward to this past weekend, and we headed off to the show itself. I'm not going to give you a play by play because you can probably imagine it (loud, awesome), but here are a few anecdotes in bulleted fashion.

• We pulled into the parking lot where we were stopped by an events man and his 10 year old boy. "Three dollars for parking!" the man said. We didn't have a lick of cash, and we said so. And then the boy says "Just go on through then!" The man agreed and so we went on our way without a fuss. It's too bad for all those folks who happened to have cash, hmm?
• T-shirts were $30. What a rip off that I wanted nonetheless.
• Marcue was there! And I didn't even know. Alas.
• Gary Lightbody had his long hair, which made me so glad. Also, at one point he was laying on top of the piano which amused me. Oh, Gary Lightbody, you're such a card!
  
• I was even more glad when they were good live. Phew.
• They played a new song! It made me really want a new cd, but since A Hundred Million Suns came out last fall it'll probably be a while still. Besides the new song, it was a good mix and they played all of my favorites, even the ones from Final Straw. The favorites were probably "Run", "Chasing Cars" and "The Lightning Strike."
  

And of course it was so nice to be there with the Mister, who has been working on his own Snow Patrol interest the last few months. I don't think he would have minded if I'd thrown myself at Gary Lightbody, do you? (I just want to hug him and pat his hair so much)

Anyway, it was a great night and we were only slightly deafened by the experience. As a reward for reading this post I give you my favorite Snow Patrol video (the original version! It's an important distinction). Kindly note Gary Lightbody's long hair of which I am so fond.



PS: I was going to include more videos but it's so hard to find them where embedding is enabled. So instead I will give you links so you can watch more Snow Patrol. Run from Final Straw, You're All I Have from Eyes Open and Crack the Shutters from A Hundred Million Suns.

*ahem*

As much as I hate to use my blog for this, I really want to go to Disneyland. So! If you want to go to Disneyland too and don't want to pay for it, you can enter contests at Sweet Life in the Valley or Out & About with the Family to win trips to Magicland Disneyland. And just to make reading this post even more worth your while, look at this pretty picture.

I want to gooooooooooo. *sigh*