Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Sweetbees to the Max

Today I have come to a decision. John Woo should not be allowed to direct movies. Ever.

Now for the sound byte of the day. Break out the angst, boys and girls, Harry's written a letter to Sirius "Dead" Black!

Dear Sirius,

I am communicating in a less desirable way than the way I should like. This is because it has been a while since I last saw you. I still will not accept the fact that you have gone. The suddenness of your disappearance was just...wrong. Everyone believes that you are gone forever, Sirius, and I do not want to face the word of what they believed happened to you, but in any case, they are trying to convince me that you are de-No! I will not say the word. It is too painful. The grief of the possible truth is too much for me to face. I do not believe what everyone says, Sirius. No one knows what happens to people when they fall beyond the veil, much less what happens to a living person when they fall beyond the veil. The veil covers many answers to many mysteries. You are one of those mysteries. What happens beyond the veil, Sirius? I wish you could tell me...I have my suspicions, but they can not be confirmed.

Before I met you, everything was about me. You can’t expect much from an immature 13 year old. You opened my eyes that there are other people in this world, by showing me the things you did for your friends. Of course I cared for other people before you came along, but I became even more caring and truly valued my friendships more after I met you, and after I heard how close the Marauder’s were.

Sirius, until I met you, I wallowed in self-pity. After I came to know you, I felt your pain of needing to run, and felt bad about the years you had to spend in Azkaban.

I am still wallowing in self-pity, but not as much so as before. That is, I wasn’t until you vanished beyond an object that I cannot comprehend.

You left me, Sirius, and now I do not only suffer from self-pity, but fear as well...

...Why didn’t you leave a diary behind? Surely you could have captured yourself in its pages, just as Tom had. I am ashamed to say it, but the reason I wish that you left a diary is because I know that if I were to find a foolish enough person to write in it, then they will transfer their strength over to you and you can live again.

...I think of crazy plans sometimes, Sirius; some involving a lone mission behind the curtain, to find you. If I wasn’t watched constantly, and if the curtain wasn’t also, than I would come, and there is no doubt there. If I only could...

I have nightmares of the veil. I walk through the department of Mysteries, and I come to the room with the veil, and there you are, falling, ever so slowly; and I always want to catch you, but I am always stuck in place, and when I turn, I realize why. Voldemort holds me in place. I yell out in frustration, and turn back to the veil, just as you vanish..."