Breaking Dawn

I'm sorry, I just can't hold my Breaking Dawn thoughts in anymore. So, if you haven't read the book for whatever reason, just go look at one of these websites instead: Kittenwar, Cats in Sinks or Mad Shark.

Some of you are probably still here, hoping to get spoilers. Or, I should say, one of you is. And so at this point I would like to remind you of a certain bargain we made and if you read the spoilers I will have to post about That Thing.

And here is the final deterrent. ZARDOZ!

I know what you're thinking and YES, that is Sean Connery. Sometimes I get the title mixed up with Xanadu, but I'm pretty sure there's no roller skating in Zardoz. There is, however, a pair of thigh-high black boots and what can only be called red underwear. I decided to spare you all from that.





And now, let us discuss Breaking Dawn.

Breaking Dawn Revelation #1: Vampires really like sex.

Obviously there has been a lot of talk about the *ahem* content (Esme's isle, anyone?). I expected a honeymoon scene, and until the pillow biting, I think it was handled pretty well. The bits that came later during their vampire honeymoon, if you will, were overkill for me. I wouldn't have thought twice about it if Stephenie Meyer weren't LDS and vocal about it, though. The fact that she is, apparently, an active member whose religion comes up in interviews and on her website should have made her think twice. I know Bella and Edward aren't Mormon, but that doesn't mean Meyer needs to make us aware of just how much sex they are having.

As for younger girls reading it, technically Twilight is a young adult book and they shouldn't be reading them anyway. So on the one hand, I don't think authors should feel a need to make their books suitable for all ages. But on the other hand, when you know that lot of young girls are reading them, it wouldn't hurt to keep it in mind. And since we didn't need or want to know about Emmett and Rosalie breaking houses down with their passion anyway, sex didn't need to come up at all after the honeymoon. Final note: Parents! Read some book reviews and give your kids Series of Unfortunate Events. They are better and more age-appropriate.

Breaking Dawn Revelation #2: Dead people can have babies.

Bella and Edward have a honeymoon baby. I'll admit that this twist kept me up reading until 5 AM so it was intriguing to me. But that was partly because I thought it was some kind of horrible vampire spawn that would somehow turn into the book's villain (too much X-Files?). The truth was so much more ordinary. It's a girl! And she's perfect! Just enough vampire to keep her young and beautiful, just enough human to give her a rosy complexion! AND she has magical powers. Of course, who wants to read a book where the main characters have to deal with a teething child that throws tantrums and watches Teletubbies?

Did I mention her name is Renesmee? Renesmee. Renee+Esme. How about...Reme? Esne? Jill? Also I would to add that Meyer's three boys have the same names as three brothers that lived next door to us in California. Just saying.

Breaking Dawn Revelation #3: Nobody cares about Bella and Edward

Bella and Edward get married in the first few chapters and POOF! all the dramatic teen relationship angst that kept me glued to Twilight is gone. The love triangle with Jacob is a moot point, and all the fun of Bella and Edward being together is gone. They're like an old married couple. If this were a TV show, I would the wedding the moment BD jumped the shark. Since it's a book, I will say that is when it bit the pillow.

And while we're here, was it just me or was Edward hardly even in this book? It seemed like he did a lot of standing around looking concerned.

Breaking Dawn Revelation #3: There is such a thing as "Too Perfect"

OK, now we're getting to my real problem with the book: lack of conflict. As in, there was none. Meyer has said she likes happy endings, but there is a big difference between a happy ending and a satisfying ending. Sure, it all turned out great, but there was no cost, no sacrifice and not even much work. Everything happened so easily! Bella didn't have to give up anything to get everything she wanted, and neither did anyone else. If anything, they gave up nothing and got even more in return.

All of the conflicts that had been built up in the first three books--the love triangle, the wedding issue, the Bella-being-a-vampire issue, the Volturi, the soul issue--were not even issues at all. Or if they came up at all, they were fixed without a problem. Everything happened exactly like you'd think, except with no trials on the way.

And you know what happens when there's no conflict? Things get really boring. Kind of like the second half of this book. This book should have been all about tying up threads and weaving all the stories together to make a good ending to the story. Instead BD didn't address previous storylines and brought in completely new ones without resolving them either. Examples: vampires can have babies? Jasper knows a seedy lawyer in Seattle? The werewolves are shapeshifters? Leah is not such a pill after all? Jazz?

Breaking Dawn Revelation #5: I really kind of hated this book

I don't hate books or things in general very often. I can't even think of anything to give examples. Anyway, the more I think about BD, the more I despise it. I was going to read The Host next but I can't even look at it. Thinking about reading the other books in the series repulses me. It wasn't even enjoyably bad! It was just bad! It wasn't consistent or cohesive. It wasn't an ending. Eclipse had a better ending. Did I mention that there's not really a plot? There's just stuff that happens, and a long conversation at the end where something exciting should be.

It's about at this point where I start banging my head on the table and throwing dirty looks at my copy of the book.

I guess I shouldn't get so worked up. After all, it's just a book. And it's just a series that I only liked halfheartedly besides Jacob! in the first place. Ohhhhh I haven't even started on the imprinting! Gahhhhhhh, imprinting! Seriously, the only way I can describe my feelings on imprinting is by angry exclamations. I don't understand it, I don't see why it was necessary at all, I think it's stupid, and it makes me angry. And it makes me so angry that it happened to Jacob. I knew it would happen, and I knew it would upset me and by golly, it did. Wouldn't it have been so much more satisfying if Jacob had had to work to overcome his feelings? Run off into the wilderness and dealt with it instead of seeing a baby and having all his Bella love disappear? It's not like he had anything to do the rest of the book anyway.

I guess you could say that if Jacob broke my brain, Breaking Dawn healed it. Now give me Harry Potter.

Everybody Loves Ponies!

In today's edition of The Blog, let me first take you back to a lovely place I call My Childhood. This place was populated with small versions of cooking utensils, The Last Unicorn, the library and a good smattering of G.I. Joes. In addition to those wonderful things, there were also My Little Ponies. I still have mine, safe in a box, and I still remember how traumatizing it was when my sister's friends put makeup on poor Heart Throb.

Some of you may have noticed that My Little Pony has come back, looking a little more slender of course. They're still cute but it's hard to beat good old Cotton Candy. (Incidentally, my sister still blames me for the fact that our Cotton Candy is tail-less.)

Cute, right? The following image is not cute. In fact, if you are prone to fainting spells or are shocked easily, you may want to avoid it.

That is not a My Little Pony. That is a "Struts" fashion pony (or Strutz, I've seen both). Apparently Playmates came up with the following equation: Girls like horses. Girls like fashion. Thus, girls like fashionista horses. I think the problems with these Struts are pretty obvious so I'm not going to go into it. I will say that my favorite snarky nickname for them is "Whorses."

And does anyone remember those weird looking Cabbage Patch ponies with the hair you could "style"? No?
Gross.

So, this post may leave you feeling a little hopeless about the current state of Pony entertainment. Don't worry--I have a few remedies.

Dream Valley: This site has the whole history of My Little Ponies, complete with all the names, pictures and collections through the years. This is how I discovered that my favorite pony, Bowtie, is actually called Ribbon.

Horseland: If you're like me, you probably don't travel with your MLP. But look! Now you can have virtual ponies! They may not be as candy-colored as MLP, but they still have pretty manes and look like real horses.

The Baby Unicorn, by Jean and Claude Marzollo, illustrated by R.J. Blake: My sister and I read this book countless times and we still argue about who actually owns the book (I do!). Unicorns! Dragons! And...that's about it. If you can find a copy, read it. Or come to my house and I will let you read it.

So there you have it--the past and current state of Pony entertainment. And here you were thinking I only blog about the important things.

(Also, I just want you all to know that in my younger days, I had super blonde hair. And it was awesome.)

Something Serious

I have been thinking about something for the last 24 hours or so, and I'm feeling the need to address it. Blogs are, after all, the place to talk about deep, meaningful personal issues, am I right? And as someone that is consumed by deep, meaningful personal issues*, it was inevitable that this topic would come up eventually.

In case you haven't guessed, I'm talking about Twilight. Maybe it's not so deep and meaningful, but let me tell a quick anecdote and explain why I'm bothering to write about it. When I was in first grade, I had a book about whales (I loved whales...I still love whales. Whales!) and I knew from my book that killer whales are really Orca whales. One day a boy was calling them killer whales and, being the insufferable know-it-all that I am, I corrected him. He didn't believe me. I corrected him again. It went back and forth, and neither of us ever budged. But I was right! So...I'm going to get into my thoughts on Twilight because I don't want anyone to have the wrong impression or have the wrong idea of what I think about it. I don't like being misinterpreted and I really don't like knowing that I'm giving off the wrong impression and being misinterpreted. OK. Let's clear this up.

We'll start at the beginning. I read a translator's brief review of it, very soon after the first book came out. He called it "vicarious" and that stuck in my head. So I didn't read it, until October 2006 (Saturday of General Conference, to be precise). I read Twilight that day, and I read New Moon a week later or something. And I read Eclipse when it came out. I liked them well enough--they're entertaining, they suck you in and it's easy to get totally absorbed while you're reading them. But! I also think they're seriously flawed--the writing, the structure, the plots, the characters. I could go on for a very long time about all my scruples over these books, but I ignored them or laughed about it because whatever, they're fun.

I reread Twilight last September after a friend gave it to me when I moved to Indiana. It was still fun (I do really enjoy the first half of Twilight because it's all new and for some reason, I really like reading about Bella doing homework and making dinner for Charlie). Life went on...in March of this year a friend read New Moon and I decided to read that one again. And then...it happened.

Halfway through New Moon...Jacob broke my brain. I was reading it and suddenly I thought "This book is awesome!" It was as flawed as ever, and I knew it but for some reason I didn't care and was suddenly all caught up in the teen angst of it all. And it was all Jacob's fault. And basically the rest is history. I read Eclipse. And then I read all of them again. And then I started checking MTV every week for Twilight Tuesday. And then, of course, the Twilarts started showing up.

So, basically, the point is this: I enjoy the Twilight books, I do. Do I think they're really good? No. Do I think they deserve all the fanfare and rabid fans? No. Do I think the fact that Stephenie Meyer is Mormon makes them appropriate for all ages? No. And if I had daughters, I would think very very carefully about them reading the books because I take issue with a lot of plot elements. Also, I hate imprinting with all my ability to hate. But you know, I like eating good food but sometimes you'll still catch me buying a three pound bag of gummi bears. And dang it, I love the Jacob/Bella kiss at the end of Eclipse. That is a bag of killer gummi bears right there.

So on Friday night I got with some buddies and we were excited for Breaking Dawn. I like being excited, and I like being excited about the same thing with groups of people.

I have a lot of thoughts about Breaking Dawn, but I can't post them yet because certain readers haven't read it yet. And even though she they would like to know all the details, I'm no spoiler! Anyway. I just wanted to clear the air.

Oh, I will say this about reading Breaking Dawn--the whole time I was thinking "I want to read Deathly Hallows." (One day I will have to blog about how I hate hearing Harry Potter and Twilight compared.) Speaking of Harry, one day I will have to tell about my long road to Harry Potter love because it was actually a pretty similar process to Twilight. And Star Wars too...is this a pattern? Hmm.

And if any of you had the fortitude to read all of these, well...I will give you something. I don't know what, but um, you can have it.

*Hahahahahaha.

This is Not Exciting

Sometimes during the school year I think to myself, "Wouldn't it be nice to get sick, and not feel obligated to do anything productive for three days?" But then when I do get sick I remember how boring, frustrating and vexing being sick really is. Being able to watch four hours of The Office is not so much consolation when it feels like your body has turned against you. I will say that the most I have ever enjoyed being sick was two summers ago when I had a stomach bug and I spent two days rewatching the first season of Battlestar Galactica. Maybe that was because I got out of French class for those two days, but the world may never know for sure. Either way, as I lay here with my Kleenex, medicine, and one of the cats, I am thinking very fondly of those stomach flu days.

Since the theme for today is laying in bed with only Vera (ie, pink laptop) to entertain me, now would seem to be an appropriate time to introduce one of the best friends you could ever find on the Internet:

The Office! Firefly! Chuck! Ghostbusters! The Fifth Element! Buffy the Vampire Slayer! It's all there, it's all legal, and it's all brought to you with limited commercial interruptions! As an added bonus, I checked today and now you can watch all of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog! Awesome!

And on a final note, I just watched the new teaser for Half-Blood Prince and it was so great that I'll have to make a separate blog just about that. Sweet!

Oh, the Craftiness of Me!

Last night I found myself gluing buttons to a picture frame. It was very exciting, but even more exciting was gluing buttons to magnets (courtesy of La Dolcezza). Who knew there was a whole word of one-of-a-kind magnets, waiting to be made with only glue, buttons and my brain? This got me thinking about some of my other crafty exploits, and while they are not many, they are all pretty memorable.

First, here are my magnets. The heart magnet is fitting in very well with the crowd of wedding announcements on the fridge. And if I refer to the knight as "Sir Cadogan" well...is anyone surprised?
Now, here is something really special. Few people know that I like to make things with foil candy wrappers. In the past, "things" has always just meant legs that stand up, with the occasional full figure, complete with a Hershey Kiss paper scarf. This past Saturday I branched out and made myself some killer bling. Yeah, that girl on the TV is blown away too (if you know what I was watching I will make you a foil person of your very own. Except Marcue because she was there.).
As for the rest of my craftiness, well, it is pretty much used only to make Harry Potter costume accessories. My favorite is probably the Rita Skeeter bug that I made for the Goblet of Fire movie opening. Ingredients are as follows: a jar intended for painting, a fake plant from Wal-Mart, a fake bug from the Bean Museum, my roommate's acrylics, and superglue. Sadly, opportunities to carry this around are few and far between these days.
My latest bout of HP craftiness was for Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows. I had a friend who dressed up as Luna Lovegood, and of course she needed some earrings. The best part about these earrings is that the radish bodies are bells. Hello, pretty camera.
Now if only I had a picture of my Mandrake plant.

Also, if anyone knows the movie I'm quoting (in an adapted fashion) in the title, then you are very smart and smarter than all of these people (#3).

I've Got a Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

I don't know why I'm using random movie quotes for blog titles lately.  Enjoy it while it lasts, I suppose!

OK, this is just a quick note, partly just to remind myself later when I don't remember it as well, but I had three dreams last night.  They were separate but the ones that followed the first would refer back to the others and it was all kind of strange.  But here are the things that were involved in them:

My Little Pony: the country, the castle and the most awesome pool ever (for sea ponies, of course)

Kingdom Hearts (2?  It doesn't matter)

Steven Spielberg and his nameless rival

Tony Stark

My old roommate and her niece

Fancy dresses that I do not own

Earrings that I do not own

A trip to St. Louis

Breakfast burritos from McDonalds

Chingachgook (but he was played by Wes Studi/Magua!  No!)

The Bog Monster (also known as the "Next Great American Novel")

Love triangles

Jeeves!

Last of the Mohicans

And yes....it was AWESOME. 

This is a messed up country

Did I make you think this was going to be a blog ranting about the government and politics? Well, it's not. I was actually just quoting The Mummy because that's what came to mind. And, just for the record, I'm going to see the third one even though 1) I think it's an unnecessary sequel 2) No Imoteph? Sad. 3) No Rachel Weisz? More sad. 4) Mario Bello? Most sad. Luckily it still has Brendan Fraser and John Hannah and I'm sure it will be over the top and fun. Or it SHOULD be.

Wow, I was not planning to say any of that. Back to the subject! An hour and 46 minutes ago it was still Independence Day, which I love. Early American history is my favorite American history, which is why I watched Last of the Mohicans...twice. And while part of me wishes (just a tiny bit!) that England had won the war, thus making us all British citizens, I am quite content with my American citizenship.

Now of course we have hot dogs, fireworks and blockbuster movies to celebrate this momentous occasion, but I decided we all need something extra this year. And that something extra is...Hugh Laurie.



(You're welcome.)

Yikes!

Last weekend I made my first trip to Ohio to the Boonshoft Museum of Discovery. And there were lots of things to look at, like Lego cities and a taxidermied polar bear. But this guy was hard to beat. Behold!

CRUNCH

He's an enormous alligator snapping turtle that is over 150 years old. And he was just hanging out in this tank, with his mouth open. Perhaps he was hoping someone would stick an arm in there? Let's have a closer look at that pretty face.

Indiana is not a Plane

So, as some of you may know and most of you may not, I was thisclose to applying to a study abroad program in England this summer. And once I finally listened to the internal advice that was beating me over the head, I decided not to. But if I had, I would be on a plane today, headed over to England where I could achieve some life goals and possibly kidnap Gerard Butler. But since I'm just sitting in Indiana instead, I figured a blog that celebrated England would be appropriate. Here are some things I love about England:

• The accents! You knew this was coming so I decided to get it out of the way.
  
• It's the birthplace of how many of the authors I love? A lot. Including Charles Dickens, Jane Austen, JRR Tolkien, James Herriot, CS Lewis, Thomas Hardy, JK Rowling, JM Barrie, and the Bronte clan.
• Besides authors, think of all the other great things that came/come out of England: Coldplay, scones, Robin Hood, Jeeves & Wooster, Orlando Bloom and an appreciation for dental care
  
• It's little.
  
• It has such lovely names: London, Manchester, Wolverhampton, Weymouth.
  
• It's the setting for all of those books written by all of those authors I just listed.
  

It's harder than I thought to make a list because there are just so! many! things! that I love about England/that came from England/that are part of my VERY BEING. Also, why talk about England when you can look at it? Let's look at it.

There are goals, and then there are goals: things you absolutely must do. I absolutely must go to an English moor and run around on it.
The British Museum. Pretty!

John Singleton Copley. OK, so he was an American colonial painter, but he eventually hopped the pond and settled in England. Part of me says "Way to ditch your country, Mr. Copley" but mostly I think "Yeah, I don't blame you, Johnny."
And my favorite painting? Painted by an Englishman. Thank you, Edwin Landseer. And thank you, St. Louis Art Museum, for buying it.

*sigh*

A Horrible Story

I've been meaning to blog all week, but haven't gotten around to it yet (obviously). My sister and her kidlets came to visit and I have been spending my free time playing hide and seek and answering the question "But why are you going to work again?" every morning.

But I still want to blog and as it is almost exactly a year since the following incident happened, I thought I should repost it, just to spread my horror to more people. So, enjoy, and to quote one of my favorite professors, I must ask you not to scream.

"OK. Check this out:

Fifteen minutes ago I'm walking downstairs to check my email. The light is off and I see a dark blob on the carpet. 90% of the time in a Middle Kingdom* summer, these blobs are kid-dropped raisins. This time it was HUGE FREAKING SPIDER. FAT AS A BASEBALL. I scream for my sister, who arrived from the shower. We stare in horror. She fetches my boot. I hold the boot and we cringe for ten minutes. Finally, I hit the spider and it gets so. much. worse.

HUNDREDS OF THINGS SWARM OUT OF THE SPIDER CORPSE. SPIDER BABIES. AKIN TO THE LOST IN THE SPACE SPIDER CREATURES EXCEPT NO GARY OLDMAN SPIDER HYBRID TO KEEP ME FROM SCREAMING.

Oh yes, friends, it was fat with babies. And so I sprayed them all with hastily-fetched bleach spray. And lo, they are dead and the hall smells like bleach.

Now we have to wait for it to dry so we can vacuum up mother and baby hoards. Seriously, I thought I had landed in a sci-fi channel original movie and the spider was really dead but was being eaten from the inside by nefarious parasite spider killers. I don't know which was worse."

Sometimes at night I can still hear the screaming.

*This originates from a funny boy I call Coop. Story will follow at a future date.

Year of a Million Souvenirs

I went to Disneyland a week ago, and I was planning to write a big ol' blog about it. But I'd rather watch a Disney movie so I'm just going to make a few points and post some pictures. Easier for everyone, right?

Favorite ride: Indiana Jones, followed by Pirates...and Splash Mountain. And Space Mountain. And Tower of Terror. ANYWAY. Indiana Jones was a blast.

Least favorite ride: what?

Tastiest food: I actually hardly ate anything the whole time I was there, but I did enjoy some turkey leg (mmm). The Dole pineapple whip was also very delectable. I also really liked the Starbursts I put in my bag.

Favorite souvenir: I only bought one, a Pirates hoodie. It was inevitable, but a Nightmare shirt almost won out. Actually, all of my souvenirs are my favorites--I also got a "1st visit" pin and my lovely sister-in-law traded a pin of hers to get me a neato Davy Jones pin.

A few of my favorite things:
--the first Jack Sparrow on Pirates.
--the "how do you do" song from Splash Mountain, although I prefer my version of "mighty fine shootin'" to "mighty fine greetin'".
--seeing a real live Ariel. There's some thrilling about seeing an animated character in real life. You know?

This all makes me sound like I was a total Pirates spaz at Disneyland, and, well, I was but I loved everything. I squealed about the castle, I got starry eyed in the princess store, I was enthralled by the videos at Off the Page and I seriously loved that Splash mountain song. So, just for the record, my Disney love goes well beyond Pirates territory. OK, picture time!

Pretty!

This isn't the Jack I mentioned, but it was the only one I could take a picture of. Yes, that is my hand, and no, I did not swoon. Giggle? Perhaps.

You know how on What Not to Wear they talk about flared jeans making your legs look stumpy? Um. They do.

Look! Princesses! I never saw Belle, which was too bad, but...princesses!

I was waiting for a rendezvous at Autopia and liked the palm trees.

This is one of my favorites, and sadly it came out a bit blurry.

Did I mention that I like the castle?

So, final thoughts: I want to go again. Very soon. But I want to go in the fall next time so I can see the Haunted Mansion all decked out Nightmare style. I also want to go on a weekend so I can see Fantasmic. And of course I want to go again so I can do all the things I missed and do all the things I liked all over again. Disneyland? Fall? Anyone?

A Quick Recommendation

I know I have the "Things I Recommend" section for this purpose but when I have something this highly recommendable, I need a whole post. Behold!

This is the best ice cream flavor I have had for a long time. Maybe the best since Blue Ribbon Chocolate Cake. Let's examine the description: "Fleur de Sel caramels covered in a chocolaty coating blended into caramel ice cream with caramel ribbons and French sea salt accents. Crisp, salty nuances harmonize with rich, creamy caramel for the ultimate combination of sweet and salty."

Buy it. Eat it. Love it.

Why is Obi-Wan Wearing my Bathrobe?

Sometimes I'm accused of not liking funny things, but I do actually like funny things a lot. I like them a lot more than backrubs or corn tortillas. Here are a few of the funny things I like:

X-Men: Last Standing Ovation



Jeeves and Wooster: "Minne the Moocher"



Star Wars Episode 3 MTV Movie Award Spoof



See? Funny!

What Were They Thinking?

You know what happens when I have a digital camera? I take pictures of everything. Even totally random things like airplane propellers. Why would I ever keep a picture of an airplane propeller? But I can take a picture of an airplane propeller and that is apparently all the reason I need. It's a pretty funky propeller though. See?

So, I just came back from Washington, which was awesome. I took pictures of many random things, including about 30 different airplanes. Airplanes are pretty rad, but I don't think I'll be looking back on this trip and think, "Man, those airplanes were great. I'm so glad I have pictures of every single one of them."

In few weeks (!) when I go to Disneyland (!) for the first time (!!) I will try to remember that I don't need pictures of the Disneyland trash cans. But then, I've never seen the trash cans at Disneyland so we'll just have to wait and see. When I'm in Provo, seeing a movie at Towne Centre, I will have to repress the urge to photograph every inch of it. Is it wrong to miss a movie theater as much as a person?

Here's a smattering of some of the random pictures I took in Washington.


Ever wonder what a polar bear looks like when it's climbing off a rock? Now you know.
Oh yes, salmon spread from Ivar's. I waited all week for this, and it was almost the best thing about having to get up at 4:15 to go to the airport.
Like I said, the salmon spread was almost the best thing. No, who am I kidding, I love that salmon spread even more than Jacob.

Alas

Why is it that blogs are so much easier to write than papers, even papers that are mostly written? Or is that writing about conflict management is just inherently repellent? Somehow, it will get done, though it may take a few more hours before I start to feel the urgency. It'll get done. Right?

I picked up X-Men: the Last Stand at the library yesterday. Which is good for the following reasons 1) I will get to see the parts (or it is part? I guess there is more than one) I liked 2) I won't have to think about how I paid money for it during all the many parts that make me crazy. One day I will have to make a list of grievances, but it is not this day.

Every morning I walk past a bunch of different flowery trees and bushes, and I only know what two of them are. But there is one bush type in particular next to the BCC* that has little white flowers and it smells heavenly. One day I will get a book about Indiana foliage, but today is not the day for that either.

In other news...going to Seattle this weekend, hurray! Some small part of me wishes I could just hang around for the weekend and revel in my lack of homework and just veg out. But I know that small part of me is awesum** and will change its mind as soon as I get on the plane. Besides, I have a whole summer afterwards to revel in my lack of homework and just veg out. So take that, awesum small part!

*Is that the abbreviation? I don't even know but I know all those letters are in the building's name.

**Is not the same as awesome.

A Little Creativity

While working on a group paper today via email I decided to spice up my section and throw some haiku into the mix. Sadly, I actually had to look up the whole arrangement and syllable numbers for haiku, so I'm not going to promise that these are any good. But they were more fun than the paper.* Anyway, I was in a Jeeves and Wooster mood so I wrote some haiku for Jeeves.

"A Haiku for Jeeves"
Jeeves wears a nice coat
Jeeves is so very clever
I would like a Jeeves

"Another Haiku for Jeeves"
About some jackets
Jeeves is most particular
Who needs brass buttons?

*OK, so this paper is not so boring. It's about readers' advisory! Which is awesome. X-Men: the Last Stand is not awesome. So why am I still tempted to buy it?

Some stuff about some Stuff

It's been a long time since I blogged, and maybe now I'm just blogging because I've been in the pits of nostalgia lately. Whatever, the motivation isn't the important thing, right?

I'm back at school again, and, once again, motivation is hard to come by. Library stuff is cool but reading about library stuff is not so cool. If I had been thinking about working at an academic library, I would have changed my mind after reading about citation studies. Just let me read books and give other people books, okay? I don't need authority. I don't need to manage. I just need to be around books and get paid well for it. Or paid at any rate.

I have readers advisory this semester, which is all about how to suggest books for people, and I think I would like this skill in terms of movies as well. Not so much for other people as for myself because that would be handy. Naturally I would use these powers for good.

In other news, my desk chair is really cheap.

Quizlings

Uh...what?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Northeast   Judging by how you talk you are probably from north Jersey, New York City, Connecticut or Rhode Island. Chances are, if you are from New York City (and not those other places) people would probably be able to tell if they actually heard you speak.
The Midland
The Inland North
Philadelphia
Boston
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

GAH

I am so excited about this.

Chow down

Seriously now, why does nobody ever blog anything ever anymore? Is blogging soooo 2006 or what? I see myself returning to the old blog spots more often come late August 2007. I think then I might have things to blog about.

Until then I will just say that I predict some kind of HP#7 prediction post sometime around July 18th and possibly a movie review around the 12th. But we'll see.

Blargh

I need to go to bed.

I think we all knew this already

What Be Your Nerd Type? Your Result: Literature Nerd   Does sitting by a nice cozy fire, with a cup of hot tea/chocolate, and a book you can read for hours even when your eyes grow red and dry and you look sort of scary sitting there with your insomniac appearance? Then you fit this category perfectly! You love the power of the written word and it's eloquence; and you may like to read/write poetry or novels. You contribute to the smart people of today's society, however you can probably be overly-critical of works. It's okay. I understand.
Artistic Nerd
Gamer/Computer Nerd
Anime Nerd
Social Nerd
Drama Nerd
Science/Math Nerd
Musician
What Be Your Nerd Type? Quizzes for MySpace

I feel pretty good about this

Which OS are You?

I really don't know what HP-UX is. But it sounds nice.

A little more Vexed

My sketchbook brand changed its perforation type and now the pages don't tear out very well. Plus the oncoming humidity makes the pages soggy-ish and so they just tear in little jumps and spats. It's really annoying, especially when I have to tape them back in and there are little bits everywhere, not lining up. But I do enjoy the fact that I have been drawing so much lately. I just wish I could color stuff and had my own computer in general.

In other news, TMNT is still awesome. I had a dream there was a turtle in my closet (an actual turtle) and there were all these baby turtles the size of a golf ball (flat) and soon there were baby turtles all over. So there was a big question about raising the baby turtles or taking them all outside and letting them fend for themselves or raise them to full grown-hood and then putting them outside. Unfortunately the question was never resolved.

In other news, has anybody seen the Underdog teaser? I really, truly do not understand it. I hope it tanks as bad as Catwoman. In other movie news, I am kind of tired of hearing about 300. Shocking, I know, but I think it's run its course and needs to go away now.

Vexed

I am vexed by my current inability to resize scans and make them look good. I don't know if this is more a problem of the scanner or the lack of programs, though it is probably both. Grr. I keep thinking I will try turning on the Yumyum again, just to see what happens. But then, as if on cue, I will have a dream where turning it on does nothing. So then I don't but I guess I should just turn it on and see what happens.

On the upside, I played with tracing paper today and I almost bought a notebook since I can't use Word in my room anymore. I need some nail polish that is more pink.

Lots of Important Things

I started rereading The Prestige again last night. It is good. I think it's cool how the movie kept the same kind of story but tweaked it into something different. I also read a truly abysmal Star Wars novel last week and it was so wretched that it's put me off the genre. I was also unfortunate enough to read another by the same author and it wasn't very good either. So, clearly, the man needs to go back to writing fanfix. If he does this, he should not use the word 'genuflect' so often just because most people probably do not know what that means.

I was thinking about writing a fanfiction the other day. I was thinking of this as an alternative to coloring arts, since I can't do that now, but then I remembered that I typically write things on my computer. It's been so long since I've had to share computer space that thinking about it makes me paranoid or something. I am thinking this is probably an irrational reaction on my part.

I watched the Best of Masterpiece Theater today and was kind of surprised at the top 12. I guess I expected more recent ones to come up, but probably just because I haven't seen any earlier than 1980 and any before 1995 are pretty rare. I was glad to see Bleak House come in so highly. And Guppy won for best scene stealer! Woo hoo for Guppy! I already have plans to, whenever I should get it, name my next laptop Mr. Guppy. It has a nice ring to it. I keep thinking I should name my mouse too, because it seems like it would like one. It may be jealous of the iPadlet having a name (Harvey).

The point is that I have still not seen Blade Runner but I remain thoroughly intrigued.

Lots of Movies

I've watched a good number of movies this week, most of which I haven't seen. Here's how they stack up:

Marie Antoinette: Better than I expected, less MTV-ish than I expected, the last half hour was the best.

Stranger than Fiction: Very good. Good acting, good story. It's kind of low-key and not as laugh-out-loud funny that I assumed it would be.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith: Good popcorn movie. For pure fun entertainment, the best of the week.

The Island: Some good, some not so good. Djimon Honsou cool as always. It seemed like it wanted to be more intellectual and thought-provoking than it actually was.

I think I saw something else but now I can't remember. I still haven't watched Blade Runner, alas. I need some more future-set movies. The Island didn't deliver enough on that score. Fortunately, Fifth Element is in the itinerary for Sunday. Hurray for meat popsicles!

Huey Kablooey

Well, I do believe it is that time again to post. I often think of entire blogs in my head but then I never actually type them up and post them. So, while I may have some 170 actual posts, there were many more that never quite made it here. Isn't that fascinating?

Lately I have been wanting to watch Blade Runner. I find this kind of inexplicable, since I have never seen it and don't really know what it's about. Maybe this is some kind of phase everyone goes through, like puberty or stupidity. Maybe it's "runnerity." That may not be a real word, but it's a real phase. I hope it doesn't last as long as my stupidity phase.

So, in big important news The Prestige is out on Tuesday. I am so gleefully anticipating this so I can compare it to the book some more. I am still thinking about the ending in the book because it was so...something. If I weren't so caught up in Star Wars novels at the moment I would be rereading that one again.

In miscellaneous news, www.librarything.com is pretty fun.

Hmmm.

Create your own visitor map!

Crushing Cans

Some people think I don't blog anymore. I don't know why this is since I blog just as often as others who blog as often as I do. But whatever. Clearly I am still blogging.

Unfortunately, I don't have much to blog about today. I've been drawing Firefly characters lately, which is fun. I also took four Firefly character quizzes and I got Wash every time. Rock on.

In other news, I find it funny that Dreamgirls gets the hype for most Oscar noms but THREE of those are songs. And we all know movies that would not be nominated for anything else often get into the song category. So, really, it's got five nominations which is not the most of any movie. This whole paragraph really probably stems from my disappointment that Casino Royale got nothing, including no song nomination.

Speaking of Casino Royale, I had a dream last night that Daniel Craig had made another Bond before CR. But it wasn't as good.

Has anyone else traded in for the new Blogger? It is kind of cool but not extremely different. In other computer news, I want to play the Sims 2.... I wish you could trade in Sims 1 for it. That would be a sweet system.

I am supreme

Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 50% Poison Ivy 48% Juggernaut 46% Dr. Doom 45% The Joker 42% Magneto 41% Dark Phoenix 41% Lex Luthor 37% Mr. Freeze 30% Venom 29% Kingpin 26% Mystique 26% Catwoman 24% Riddler 22% Two-Face 22% Green Goblin 14%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Supervillain Personality Quiz

A Fountain of Fountain-ness

I never got to see The Fountain. But I am listening to some of the music right now and that, at least, is something and that something is pretty good. Except for right now. Hmm.

I haven't blogged for a good long while now. Come to think of it, I haven't quizilla'd much either lately. Probably because a really good quiz is hard to find. Maybe I should look right now. Perhaps my elemental has changed. Or perhaps Draco is now the perfect HP man for me.

I guess it's almost Christmas. That is really weird to me because it seems like it was just August or something. Wasn't it? I don't want 2007 much. That sounds kind of boring. Well. Not really I guess.

Pondering the Prestige

Well, I just got back from seeing The Prestige. Of course the Hugh content was completely satisfactory (I had no worries on that score). Beyond Hugh, I thought it was very good. I also thought it was thought provoking--not about the meaning of life or anything, but the story had a lot of layers and parallels and things that I am still thinking about. To be concise: it had meat on its narrative bones. It also had very good acting and lots of English accents. I'm looking forward to seeing it again and noticing more things and picking up on other things.

In unrelated news, I've been buying a lot of movies lately. Cheap movies, of course. I got Girl with a Pearl Earring the other day for two dollars. I haven't seen it, but I've been told to see it just for the visual stuff. And, come on, how often are movies made about artists? Well, so they're not entirely infrequent, but still infrequent enough to make me interested. I'm looking foward to Goya's Ghosts.

I forced myself to watch Fast Forward today, just to get my TMNT fix for the week. It's just so depressingly lame. It's like they either threw out character...ly things (Leonardo! Where is your shell damage?!) or they amped them up (Michelangelo! Why are you increasingly dumb?!). Even the colors are off. And of course, you know, there's the robot butler. Anything with a robot butler is on my bad list. So basically this show keeps racking up reasons for me to dislike it. I also watched GI Joe but there was no Snake Eyes. Pfffft.

In non-entertainment news, I am still pushing through Moby Dick. It's a hard book to read because it's not so plot driven, especially compared to books now. You know it's about getting Moby Dick, but there's also a lot of extra information. I don't think it's like A Tale of Two Cities where the information seems unrelated but then is. I think Melville just wanted to write a book about whaling and Moby Dick was his vehicle. But the daily life element kind of kills the suspense because Moby Dick/action scenes just pop out randomly. BUT the characters are interesting, and I'm eager to get to some action. Melville is a good writer, if a little long-winded, and it's surprisingly funny at times. So, not a bad book by any means, but it does make you work for the payoff.

In other news, I'm tired because I stayed up too late watching tv. I saw some news thing about seniors learning to lapdance from a Carmen Electra video. Crazy seniors, I really didn't need to see them practicing. And now to distract myself from that left over mental picture, I'm going to go eat some Pirates cereal.

Fluffy McFluffy

Well, I've been done for a while yet, but I still dream about school and writing papers. It's pretty awesome. More importantly, I don't dream about being at work, thank goodness. There are some people there I will be happy to never see again, especially in a work setting. Hurrah!


I haven't seen a movie in the theater since August....25th. It's been so long! Of course there hasn't been anything to see, though The Illusionist intrigues me. Last fall had more good movies in it than this fall though, for me anyway. I am excited about The Prestige. Or is it just Prestige? Anyway. I wonder if Christian Bale will die in the end. Hopefully Scarlett Johanssen won't make it to the credit roll.

In other news, the first pictures from Order of the Phoenix are out and I am generally impressed. Umbridge looks as good as I knew she would. I think Harry's hair is a little too short now...the POA hair was perfect, they need to go back to that. But Ron's improved hair balances it out I guess. Luna looks very young but otherwise I have no complaints.

In non-movie news, there's not much to say. Applying to school is a bore and I would rather play video games and mess with the iPadlet. Oh well, I guess life has requirements.

In Honor of Talk Like a Pirate Day...

...I got meself a proper pirate name: Yardarm Jeannie!

DONE.

I'm GRADUATED.

Bleh

My blogging rate always goes up when I have a paper to write. I just can't suck it up and do it without being distracted. *sigh* It's going okay, I guess. I don't feel very organized, probably because I'm not. Blogging right now...probably doesn't improve that. My fingers are itchy for a pencil and my sketchbook but instead they have to go to work in the Egyptian slave trade.

*sigh* I really don't like deviantART's new layout. It's so...BIG and the information/links are harder to get to. I liked the neat little boxes of thumbnails with all of the other links at the top in that nice box. It makes me want to spend less time there. Equally vexing is when good artists disappear. It's so sad to not see what things they could come up with. I wonder if I did commissions if anyone would pay me anything. Not that I even have an account or that anyone's even seen anything of mine.

I was walking with a ghost in Paris today and her name was Antigone. And she's the most irritating little Greek brat I've ever had to read about. I don't care about the canon elements of tragedy or existentialism. She's dumb and that's really all there is to it. Pffft on dumb Greek girls in French plays.

This is kind of a negative blog. Let's find something nice to talk about. I'm looking forward to wearing a headband tomorrow and maybe wearing my ROCK THE LIBRARY! t-shirt since I haven't worn it yet. Then coming home from class and slaving over The Paper until the wee hours. And then going to French. And then going to the Last Day of Work! And then slaving over French. And then watching What not to Wear. And then going to bed. And then watching the angry-fying TMNT Fast Forward. Followed by a French test. Followed by a French paper. Followed by beaucoup de questions. Hopefully interspersed with the zoo? *sigh*

I think it's really dumb how people add "le" or "la" in front of words. "Le sigh" Why would you write that? And why do people write "teh"? Haha, funny typo for like .005 seconds. Whatever. People write dumb things with keyboards.

Oh yes, something good. Let's see. Oh, I did eat a vanilla drumstick a while ago. That was good. And I had a dream about some international mystery with clues in letters from Russia, Keane song titles and skylines of national monuments. I'm not sure what these clues were adding up to though. This dream also involved a small plane flying on the streets and a break dancing baby. You can't make this stuff up.

I win!

Social Life at Hogwarts

Everyone, except the Slytherins, like you. You are friendly, nice, and a well-rounded person. Your studies aren't that important, but you pull of decent grades. You live your life with risks and don't think about the consequences. Friends mean a lot to you. Your friends love you because you are always the one who they can talk to.

Harry: He is in love with you. You're the one he wants to be with forever. He's tried to push you away, but you refused to leave him. Despite the danger that comes with being his girlfriend, he's too smitten with you to let you go and is glad you are willing to face the danger to be with him.

Ron: He loves you as a little sister. He admits to having a crush on you before, but has stronger feelings for Hermione. He acts as an older brother to you.

Hermione: She is one of your best gal pals. She always scolds you for not doing the best in your studies, but she is your friend just the same. She's very happy for you and Harry. She secretly has a crush on Ron, but she won't admit it. And neither will he. You're the one who's going to put them together.

Ginny: She secretly hates you. You stole Harry and one of her older brothers too. She knows she's overreacting, but she doesn't care. She hates you and shows it when no one is around. But when someone is around she acts like the sweetest little girl.

Neville: Thinks you are great and has a crush on you, but he's too shy to do anything. Plus, you're with Harry now.

Fred and George: They love you. As a friend though. You're one of the few priviledged people who get to help them with their pranks. They are glad you are with Harry, but sort of wish you ended up with Ron instead.

Oliver Wood: He knows you, but doesn't really talk to you. All he knows is that you are Harry's girlfriend.

Cedric Diggory: Him, like Oliver Wood, knows you, but doesn't talk to you. Or should I say he knew you. That is before he died.

Cho Chang: She is slightly jealous of your relationship with Harry. Cedric died and she was left alone, and her and Harry didn't work out either. She is nice to you, but doesn't really like or hate you.

Lavender Brown: She doesn't like you because she thinks Ron likes you more than a friend. She hates Hermione more than you though, if that helps?

Draco Malfoy: He doesn't like you at all. You seem like a goody-two-shoes to him. He dislikes you even more because you're Potter's girlfriend. All in all, he doesn't talk to you or have any contact with you whatsoever.

Pansy: Doesn't talk to you and hates you. Period.

Crabbe and Goyle: Don't know you.

Dumbledore: He likes you and thinks you are strong-willed and perfect for Harry.

McGonagall: She thinks your an average skilled witch, she doesn't really notice you that much.

Hagrid: He adores you and constantly invites you to help him with his creatures. He loves that you and Harry are together.

Snape: He hates you. Loathes you. Despises you. He thinks you are very poor skilled and dislikes you even more for being Harry's girlfriend. He loves taking points away from you.

Voldemort: You are on his list of people to kill. You make the top 5. Not exactly a good thing, but what'd you expect being Harry's girlfriend and all.

Reputation: Harry's Girlfriend.
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The Bad Beginning

This is a pretty small image but it's what I'm going to be writing my research paper on right now. It's hard to see the details but all of the animals are painted in a very realistic way while the people are painted in the traditional Egyptian way (though more natural than in previous years). Why is this? I don't know but hopefully I will have some idea by the time I finish the paper.

Anyway, so here I am, working or something. Well, I haven't started yet except making an outline and titling my paper "Nebamun and the Kumquat of Power." I have exactly five classes left until graduation, a week left of classes, a week until I pick up my robes (I love saying robes because it sounds like a Harry Potter reference) and less than twenty days left in Utah.

In other news, I am really upset about this new Fast Forward TMNT show. First I'm confused. Is this replacing the regular series for a season? If so, why? It's kind of weird because the voices are the same but there's a new opening and Leonardo doesn't have his attitude or shell damage. And the animation is like 10% simplified and all of the characters are exaggerated. The whole thing is sillier. It's so disappointing. I want my regular series back! I want to know where they were going on that leaky boat. I want to know what happens with those elemental guys. *sigh*

On a related note, Half-blood Prince will be out on November 21, 2008. Sweet! Which would mean the last movie would be out in the summer of 2010. That's a crazy number. Well, I suppose this paper isn't going to write itself. Maybe You Know Who would write it for me.

Argh, avast!

Heath Ledger as the Joker? Noooooooooo!

Happy Harry Birthday

Yes, as of 32 minutes ago, it is Harry Potter's birthday. Perhaps his last one before the seventh book is released, you never know.

And, no, there is nothing wrong with celebrating a fictional character's birthday. It just means that you don't have to get them a present.

Checkmate

Well I saw Lady in the Water yesterday because Scoop is not playing closer than an hour away. What is up with that? I mean, it's Hugh. My consolation prize was the full trailer for The Fountain, which looks good in a trippy sort of way. Anyway, back to the movie. It was...good. In a funny sort of way. It reminded me of a dream--just dreams in general--because it was totally out there but it made sense in its own context. But thinking about it outside the theater or trying to tell someone else the story makes it sound ridiculous--like so many dreams. So, in that way it was kind of cool. The acting was good, and it had nice bits of humor. On the negative side, I think the story got pushed a fraction too far and there were some rambling bits that added nothing (Mr. Farber, anyone?). So, to sum up: it was very creative, perhaps a little too creative, with good acting. But it's not one that sticks to you like The Sixth Sense or Signs.

In other news, I don't have much news. I have to put my presentation on Merenptah together tomorrow since, of course, it's the last day to do it. Gosh, I'm hungry. Maybe I should go eat something. I had some Chinese food on Thursday and it was pretty good. I really want some cheap Panda Express now.

I started going through my stuff last night, and I've already got a laundry basket full of stuff to get rid of. I love getting rid of stuff. I just want to go through everything right now and pack it all up. But then I might need it in the next three weeks. Darn. Well, I've grown a powerful hunger since I started this blog so methinks it's time for eggs.

Aye, Avast!

I read this blog the other day that was complaing about Pirates 2 but it seemed pretty weak, the argument, I mean. Sometimes I don't get why some people don't like some movies. I mean, whatever, but still... what's their damage? Why can't they just have fun at a movie that's not War and Peace? Sometimes movies are just...fun. And have sweetbees new characters and...the Kracken! I don't know if I spelled that right. Anyway, some people take movies too seriously. Now I have to address this blog that no one else has even read.

First. Kiera Knightley isn't that bad. I mean, it could be worse. She could be, I don't know, Tara Reid. Or Rosario Dawson. Or Kirsten Dunst outside of Spider-man. I do think she was better in the first one but that's about it.

Second. "Pirate speak" is not hard to understand unless you don't speak English. Dead Man's Chest is not a convoluted story and it's not hard to understand either. Only Tia Dalma's lines require real concentration but only because her accent was so good. And, yes, the dice game was a little "Huh?" but you don't have to understand the subtle nuances of a bluffing game to get the scene.

Third. Yes, Johnny Depp is wonderful and Jack Sparrow is very amusing, the movies wouldn't be the same without him, etc. etc.. But he's not the only character. Will Turner's story was actually more interesting, and Davy Jones was extremely entertaining. And I have a favorite new character. And the Kracken was a character of its own with cool organ music.

Fourth. People who make complaints like "too many carbuncles" should not be seeing any movies involving pirates or any kind of sea life. That is a dumb complaint anyway. It's like saying there are too many horses in The Two Towers. Maybe I shouldn't care about this person's review since their favorite Lost character is Hurley. I'm tired of hearing about Hurley. Just because he's a jolly fat man doesn't mean he's interesting.

So anyway, dumb people aside, I'm supposed to be doing homework tonight but of course I'm not. I'm so tired and I don't even know why since I keep sleeping 8 hours at least. I found an arrowhead at work last week, which is pretty cool. In other news, Scoop is out this weekend or, as I like to call it, Another Hugh Jackman Movie in Which He Will Look Very Good. I still haven't seen Lady in the Water, and I don't hear a lot of good about it but I still want to see it. As long as there are real creatures, it'll be okay.

In other other news, some people at work are dumb and I want to throw things at them. And my French teacher looks like Umbridge, which is unfortunate. Well I guess that's all I have to say.

Chasing Cars

I saw Superman last week. It was pretty good except for its flaws. And what was up with Lex Luthor and his boots? Were they security boots? Were they evil genius boots? Why did he wear them with suits? And why did he always tuck his pants into his boots? So far I'm the only person to notice these boots and that's another question: how can you not notice them? Do I just watch too much What not to Wear? I like to think I would notice them anyway as an oddity. Oh, and seriously, I don't think the Clark-Kent-is-Superman issue has ever been so obvious. That's what makes that one scene in Mystery Men so good.
"Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing."
"Lance Hunt wears glasses, Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses."
"He takes them off when he transforms!"
"That doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't be able to see!"

That's a good movie. Anyway, I saw another good movie this weekend: Serenity. It was way good but the end was totally stressful. So then I watched the Battlestar miniseries, which was much more relaxing. Mainly because I knew what was going to happen and because Gaius rocks my socks with his crazy weasle-y ways.

I thought I had more to say but I guess I don't. I think I'm going to go to bed. That sounds nice.